Someone Loves Sari
by Zira Angel
Summary: Sari keeps getting gifts, but she has no clue who they're from.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, guys! New fic! I know you love it. This one is about Sari :3

Everyone loves Sari. Well, _we_ love Sari. I'm sure you do, too.

Transformers belongs to Hasbro

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><p>It was a pretty simple package. The thing was small-small enough to fit in her hand, even in the box. It was also wrapped with a pretty yellow bow; a bow which matched her armored bot mode paint exactly, which was kinda creepy.<p>

Sari sits at her desk, prodding the package with a single, cautious finger. It had gotten past the security measures downstairs, so it shouldn't be a bomb, or hazardous chemicals. It _might_ be something awful, like the lacy panties she'd gotten once from some total pervert on the other side of the planet. The lacy panties _and _the camera that came with them.

That man had a very nice restraining order as his thank you letter for the gift.

She was really hoping this box wasn't full of negligee.

It doesn't even have a real return address, since the address is for fraggin' NASA, and she's pretty sure they don't send blue and yellow gift boxes, even to the Sumdac Industries. Much less specifically to _her_.

She pokes it slowly, unsure if she _should_ open it, but gently tugs the ribbon off.

It is the newest edition of the pocket monsters game.

In Japanese.

She was planning on getting this when it came out in English to complete her set. She isn't sure her system can even _play_ the Japanese version, but she _has_ been wanting to play it. Some of the art for it was really adorable on the fansites.

It's even _more _awesome because the Japanese, fantastic pop-culture referencers that they are, have created a new line of monsters for it. Little bitty pixelized versions of what are almost blatantly cute-ified versions of Autobots and Decepticons. There's even a tiny pseudo-Megatron you can capture and train, and she is _so _going to get him and name him something embarrassingly cutesy.

It'd serve the Decepticon leader right.

Plus, she's pretty sure the fake seekers have personality traits based on their color.

She pulls down her game system to see if it even works, and if it does, just stumble through the storyline blindly. It isn't like these things have anything really important to say. It is mainly, "go to lab, pick green type (_always_), catch monsters, beat up bad guys who are stealing monsters or destroying the world, catch more monsters. She'll know what's going on when the english version comes out.

She squeaks in delight when her system _does_ play it, and settles in to spend time trying to catch all the cutest ones she can.

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><p>The very next day, there's <em>another<em> package for her sitting in her room. This one has a blue bow and yellow wrapping.

She was planning on playing the game again, but it isn't like she can't look at this and play at the same time.

Shredding her way through the paper, she blinks at the little keychain ornament thing shaped like the monster that was based on Bumblebee. She doesn't really have any place to put the thing, seeing as it's not like she uses _keys_ to get in to Sumdac Tower. The little Vumvrabi charm gets placed on her desk, and it smiles cheerfully at her with its wide blue eyes.

She's pretty sure when Bumblebee realizes they made a monster of him into a fluffy bumblebee with huge blue eyes and blushy cheek spots, he's going to flip out and rant for a solid hour or two. And then sit down, pout, and look _exactly_ like Vumvrabi's angry animation while he protests that it looks nothing like him.

She loves this game _so much_.

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><p>The next week is filled with a daily charm of various monsters from the games, and she's really considering getting a shelf for them. That is, until the latest gift comes.<p>

They all get clipped carefully onto the bracelet that was clearly made for them, and puts it on her wrist before heading out the door. It's time to go visit the bots, and she wants them to see what the ones based on them look like. She's kind of amused to see the one based on her, really. It has little floaty wings instead of ones that are actually connected, and her bot mode is the second evolution. She loves that it's an electric type, too.

Bumblebee drops down on the couch in the base beside her, poking at her wrist with one large finger. "What that thing you've got on? Are you gonna start decorating yourself now?" He rubs her head. "Our little Sari is growing up if she's starting to decorate herself with little," he squints his optics, "Hey, wait a klik. Are those the monsters from the new game? The one that isn't coming out over here for a stellar cycle or two?"

Sari nods, completely and utterly justified in being smug about it. "Yep. And this one is _you_," she points to the tiny, fluffy bee charm.

He stares at it closely, "No it isn't."

She gives him a very mean smile, "Yes it is, Vumvrabi."

He looks at it, "Did they _really_ call me that? I'm not a _bug_."

She snorts, "Yes, you are." She pats him on the side, "I showed you all the pictures of bees, remember?"

He crosses his arms over his chest, "I am _not _a bug."

She smiles at him. "You're yellow with a black stripe and you have _stingers_. If the shoe fits . . ."

Bumblebee lifts a leg and shakes one of his peds, "I don't fraggin' wear shoes, so _none_ of 'em fit. I'm not that stupid bee thing."

"But Vumvrabi is so _cute_, Bee. He even makes little happy chirpy noises if you play with him." She really loves the ability to interact with the monsters in this version. There are even little _games_ you can play with them on the screen to built up the trust and love levels between you. Some of them like certain games more than others. Her Vumvrabi really enjoys playing fetch with sticks.

She is, however, glad that they don't have text having the monster saying what it likes. The heart emote is helpful when she navigates the menus. If the monsters didn't have that and the angry face emote, she'd be doing the games she loves best. Which, sadly, is the one the Megatron monster likes best, and not the ones that the other ones like all that much. She can't help that breaking rocks is so fun.

Bumblebee makes a face at her, "I'm still not a bug."

She pats him on the side, deeply amused at how he really _does_ look exactly the same as Vumvrabi when he's sulking. "I'm going to go show the others. You have fun playing on the tv console."

She walks into Optimus's office, grinning wide as she says, "Hey, look at the awesome charms I got. . ." She trails off and stares at the screen in horror. Ultra Magnus is on the screen, with his sparkplates open, and a servo on his spark, and Optimus-thank fucking god his back is to her, jerks guiltily and slams both of his own servos on the arms of his chair.

"Sari!" he says, shutting off the visual feed for the screen. "You didn't knock."

She rubs her eyes, trying not to think about what the hell she had just walked in on, points out, "You're in your _office_. You have a com console _in your room_."

He coughs into his servo, looking incredibly guilty, "Ultra wanted to talk to me, and one think led to ano-"

She holds up a hand, stopping anything he's going to say, "I do _not_ want to know. At all." She shudders, "You could _lock _the door, too. It isn't very hard."

Optimus is blushing so hard his face plates are turning purple, "I got... distracted."

She groans, "I kinda noticed that."

Even with that horrible image in her mind, it's impossible not to tease him. When he asks her, "What did you want to talk to me about?" she replies, "Nothin' important. I'd rather find out when you're gonna marry that old pervbot." He flushes a brilliant red and Sari adds a point to her private tally.

"He is the leader of the military side of the Autobots, and I am directly under his command. It is highly inappropriate for us to have any relationship at all. For him to bond with me. . . that's not realistic, Sari."

She snorts, "_Right_. Like that really matters. He's not going to be stopped if he wants to marry you."

He looks at the top of the desk, looking kind of sad, "It isn't allowed, Sari." He almost seems to draw in on himself, "I really should just break it off, so he isn't damaged from the asso-"

She walks over and prods him sharply in the head, "Like hell you will. _I'm_ not going to tell anyone about it. No one here is going to complain. Other than about you not _using your room _for this. You _will_ stay with him, got it?"

Optimus looks away, twitching fretfully. "If he wishes for me to stay with him, then I shall. But if he agrees that it is too dangerous for us to be together, then I will respect his wishes and we will separate."

Completely unimpressed, Sari slugs him in the shoulder. "Bot, if you gave him any indication that you wanted to bond, he'd snap you up in a heartbeat. But you gotta let him know you're interested. He probably thinks you're too young to want to bond."

There's a sudden cough from the console, and both bots jerk to stare at the blank screen. "I believe I should remind you that cutting the visual feed does _not_ cut the audio, Optimus."

Optimus turns an even brighter red, absolutely mortified, and drops his head on the desk with a loud thump. Patting him on the head, Sari asks, "So... have you closed up yet, pervbot?"

There's a sigh from the console, "Yes, Sari. That was actually the first thing I did."

She turns on the com, leaning against Optimus, "So, when are you going to bring him the bonding brush?"

Ultra is blushing faintly, "I can head there now?"

She tisks at him, "With Decepticons on the loose?"

"Yes. I would gladly come to paint Optimus, even if it means we spend the first sol of our engagement fighting."

Optimus is flushed a painful red now, and he keeps biting his lip. "I don't want you forced into this, Ultra. Not if you don't really want it. You know the kinds of rumors it will start about us, and the bad publicity-"

Ultra cuts him off, "No, Optimus. I do not _care_ what publicity it brings us, though I think you are overestimating the negative reaction. Magnuses in the past have taken lovers and bondmates from the ranks beneath them. We do not do well with nonmilitary partners."

Sari pats Optimus on the back, "There. See? He loves you, and you aren't going to ruin everything. Congratulations." She pokes him in the head, "I'm going to leave you guys alone to talk about this, but that doesn't mean you can try talking Ultra out of it. You _want_ to bond. The way you sigh sadly when you see all the damn brushes when we pass various painting stores proves it."

Optimus looks away, biting his lip, and Ultra says, "I won't be talked out of it, Sari. You go ahead and go." The mech's optics dim, "Lock the door behind you, please."

She makes a face, kinda wishing the bot _hadn't_ said it, but does as she's asked when she steps out of the office. It is time to go harass Ratchet.

The medical bay is empty, which means Ratchet is either in his room, mooning over that holopicture of Arcee, or somewhere out on the streets taking a stasis nap in front of a fire hydrant. She's had to pay so many fragging tickets for the bots. They don't seem to realize that someone has to pay their parking and speeding tickets.

They sure as fuck don't.

Ratchet _is_ in his room when she goes to look for him, sitting on his berth, staring at the holopicture with longing optics. Why the mech doesn't just man up and ask Arcee out, she doesn't understand.

Walking over to him, she climbs into the berth and leans against him. "You _have_ her com frequency."

He gives her a dirty look, "She doesn't want an old bot like me. I've told you this. Are you gonna accept that, or am I-"

She snorts, "She's the same general age as you. _Ultra Magnus_ is older than you are, and Optimus likes him just fine. Optimus is younger than you are."

He gives her a dirty look, "It isn't the same thing at all. She's a _femme_. She won't want a broken down old mech like me. Not when she can have the pick of any young mech."

"You're not broken down. You've been fighting Decepticons and _winning_, and need I mention it again, Ultra Magnus is older than you and he's going to be bringing a bonding brush down the next time he visits."

Ratchet blinks. "He's what?"

Sari punches his shoulder, "Don't try and change the subject. Our Optimus is gonna get married, but we need to get you to at least _ask_ Arcee out on a date. I bet she'll say yes, and then you'll end up getting to

_kiss_ her instead of sighing all forlorn over her holo-picture."

Ratchet gives her a confused look, "He's _finally_ bonding to Ultra?"

"Stay on track here," she prods him. "You need to go on a date with Arcee. We can even have Ultra bring her to earth with him. She'll be helpful when the Decepticons inevitably attack that day."

He rubs his optics, "... I think that's enough information for an old mech like me, Sari." She's lifted off the berth and set on the ground, "Go talk to Bumblebee or something."

That reminds her what she was planning on doing in the first place, and she clings to him, "Nuh-uh! I wanna show you something that's based on you!"

"You got _more_ shocking news for me? I hope you're not going to tell me that _you're_ getting bonded to some bot."

Sari sticks her tongue out at him, "Shut up. I said I wanted to _show_ you something." She lifts her wrist and twists it around, making the charms clack together. "See? This one is you." She shows him the little charm of Rouncen, a round little monster with an egg pouch on his stomach and a little red and white chevron on his forehead. He's a brand new type of healing and support monster, with very few attack moves. In fact, they have put him in the healing centers with the female version of healing monster-a bright, cheerfully pink one.

She wonders if she should point that out to him.

He looks at it blankly before pushing her hand gently away. "It looks nothing like me."

She smiles at him, "It's just based on you. They got it to do healing, and it is _really_ grumpy. It is a great big grumpy guts." She makes a silly face at him, "Just like you."

He rolls his optics, "Why aren't you telling Bumblebee this? I'm sure _he'd_ want to know this."

Sari climbs back on the berth, "He's all sulky that the one based on him is a bug. I don't see why he's so upset about it. He could be a iron like Lugnut is."

He rubs his head tiredly, "Or a pot, like I am."

"You know what?" Sari grins excitedly, "I'm totally gonna find a bigger toy of Rouncen and give it to Arcee the next time she comes by. I bet she'll love it." And maybe she'd give its little forehead crest a kiss and then Ratchet would work up the courage to ask her out. If he doesn't tell her soon, she's gonna tell Arcee for him.

The other bot glares at her, optical ridges furrowed, "Don't you slaggin' dare. She doesn't need a toy that looks sort of like me."

She beams at him, slipping off the berth, "Of course, I won't, Ratchet."

His glare intensifies, "You better not."

She slowly heads to the door, "Unless, of course, I do it anyway." Which she will. She's going to probably order the largest toy of it she can, even if it gets shipped in from Japan. It isn't like she can't afford it.

He starts to get up, "Sari..."

She is part way out the door, "I need to go talk to Bulkhead, Ratchet. You go back to sulking about Arcee." She slips out, closing the door and taking off to find Bulkhead.

Paint is splattered all over the walls of Bulkhead's room, making it look like one of Bumblebee's pranks gone awry.

Bulkhead is standing in the middle of his room, tilting his head this way and that at a canvas that is mostly blank. Blank enough not to warrant the mess of paint everywhere, when Sari knows it had all been cleaned up just the day before.

"Hey, big bot. What're you painting today?" She climbs up to his shoulder and takes a seat there, studying the canvas. It looks sort of like a bunch of flowers, but it could easily be another bot or a city.

He shifts a tiny bit under her, "I'm trying to paint that bowl of fruit over there."

She peers over the canvas, and there _is_ a bowl of fruit, but the picture only really matches it in colors. "... oh." She watches him put another paint stroke down before saying, "So! You know that game I've been playing?"

He looks at her with a small smile, "The one you said had monsters based on us?"

She beams at him, "Yeah! Wanna see the one based on you?"

"You said that mine wasn't on your version, though. Only on the other game for it, and even there you need to do some special thing."

"Yeah, well I don't have your monster in-game yet, but I do have _this_," she flashes the little charm at him. "Don't you think it's adorable?" He's a little tank-like metal bot that is all adorably rounded corners. His fully evolved form is rather large, and she's super jealous because she's seen pictures of how you can _ride_ on him around the different routes if you don't feel like having your character walk.

At least her Megatron-bot will be able to let her hover around eventually, when he picks up the ability. Hello to not having to hunt for the correct path through a dungeon when you can hop right over all the ledges.

Bulkhead moves the charm to look at carefully, "I'm a tank?"

She smiles, "Yeah. Do you like him?"

He nods, "Yeah. He's really cute, Sari. I'm glad I finally got to see him. I was kinda curious."

She hugs him, "Is it okay if I go find Prowl to show him the one based on him? Or would you like me to stay here with you for a bit longer?"

She's gently put on the ground, "You go ahead, Sari. I want to keep trying to do this. I think I'm getting better."

Considering some of his earliest attempts, getting better wasn't hard to do. But that was being uncharitable. Bulkhead hadn't painted much at all, and he had a real natural talent for art. "It's lookin' good. We're gonna have to set up a gallery showing for you again soon. I bet you've got a lot of stuff you haven't even showed me yet."

The big green bot flushes pink and rubs the back of his helmet sheepishly, "Yeah, I guess I do. It's mostly in my closet, you know? I run out of space out here."

She nods, "I'm pretty sure you don't want to show me as you're painting, though. It dries up if you take too long!"

He turns back to the canvas, "Yeah..." He straightens up, "Maybe I can show you after you find Prowl?"

She hadn't realized he _really does_ want to show them off. The other guys must be trying to avoid it again. Which is good in Bumblebee and Ratchet's cases, but not so much Prowl and Optimus. Maybe they didn't know, either. "Yeah, I'd love that. Maybe Prowl can come look, too."

He gives her a happy look, "I'd like that."

That probably means he has a few pictures of trees that he thinks Prowl will enjoy. "Awesome. I'll be back in a bit, then." She kisses his cheek and darts out the door.

Prowl is always the hardest bot to find, usually because he doesn't want himself to be found.

Or he's off fragging Lockdown in the forest somewhere. Something the bot refuses to admit to doing. Weird bot taboos.

"Hey, Prowly, are you here somewhere?" She looks up in the rafters and tries to peer up into his tree, which is so leafy right now that she can't really see far into it at all. "I want to show you something."

There's movement in the corner of her eye, and she turns to see him fully. He smiles at her, "And what would that be, Sari?"

She walks over to him, "I wasn't interrupting anything, was I?"

He shakes his head, "No. I was just looking at some of the birds in the tree." He drops gracefully into a sitting position on the floor, and she climbs into his lap. "What is it you wanted to show me, then?"

She leans on him, "You know that game I've been playing?"

He nods, "The one that comes from the country you showed me a tea ceremony for."

"Yeah, that one." She points out the thin, lithe dark/steel type monster that was based on Prowl. "This one is supposed to be you. See how he has little rounded bits on his legs that look a bit like tires?" He also has an attack move where he throws little ninja stars at other monsters, and a meditation move to restore his HP. "You're one of the fastest monsters in the game."

He looks at it with amused interest, "Aren't dark types the ones that do the moves that could be considered cheating?"

She nods, "You have this move that pretty much always lets you go first as a starting move. It is like you come out of the shadows and smack the other monster up."

He smiles, "I will put that down to a limitation of the game that you can't get out of the fight peacefully. Sometimes you have to be like that."

"Oh, and I think the humans have clued in about your affair with the bot that shall not be named," Sari says, her voice sing-song. "There's one based on him-he's made up of all sorts of parts, and his type depends on what kind of item he's holding at the time. But there's this whole attraction system in place, and Cyclemons fall in love with Lockups more than any other species."

Prowl blinks. "That's . . . an interesting observation, Sari. I am not entirely certain I would classify what . . . he and I have as _love_, though."

She nods, "Well, it _is_ a kid's game. They aren't going to explain what you have in it." She pauses, "Well, maybe they did, and I just didn't know because of the language. I can tell you when the english version comes out."

He smiles at her, "That sounds like a great idea, Sari. I look forward to knowing what the people at the video game corporation think of it." He absently pets her hair, "Want to tell me what the other ones are? Since you have been really excited about this, and I saw that Bumblebee was off sulking."

She shows him each of the charms, including the two charms that represent Megatron and Starscream. She's not sure if more Decepticon charms will show up in the mail, but she kind of hopes they do, so she can have a complete set of each. Maybe she'll use the little charm hooks and put one of them on a necklace to wear that way.

The Megatron charm is almost painfully cute, after all.

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><p>Please Review<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Transformers belongs to Hasbro

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><p>Sari really likes buying pretty clothes sometimes, and she goes through them like crazy if she's having to transform a lot. The metal skirt thing tends to shred apart any pants she might have been wearing, so she tends to go with dresses and thigh-high tights instead. Those tend to survive, and if they're the right size, they sometimes jump into this weird little subspace pocket made just for them and will come back when she slips back into her fleshy form.<p>

The subspace is _really_ small though, and pants and stuff _do_ tend to get ripped up in embarrassing ways.

She's rifling through a rack of the latest fashion in dresses, wondering why everything is so fragging _ugly_ this season, when there's a roar of a jet engine outside and screams of "Decepticon!" from nearby people.

She sighs loudly, glad that she only _just_ started, and doesn't actually have anything picked out yet. She transforms as she walks out of the shop, wondering which bot she's going to have to _try_ dealing with. She freezes in shock to see Blitzwing _carefully_ walking on the street, even going out of his way not to step on anyone. By now people know that Decepticons don't really care about who's there and try to get out of the way as fast as possible, but that doesn't mean that people don't get stepped on.

Seeing the triple-changer actively avoid the sidewalks is as bizarre as it is welcome.

She starts to put her hand to her temple to com the guys when Blitzwing squeals happily, flipping from Icy to Random, and dashes to a store. She curses at the sight of the bot trying to figure out how to open a door without damaging it, she'd thought stores had _stopped_ displaying dolls in windows.

Moving to a better viewpoint, she sees that there _isn't_ any dolls in the window. Not any that Random likes, anyway - just teddybears and toy soldiers - but there _is_ the little sign declaring they have girl toys. Looks like they're going to have to change all the signs again in attempt to keep the bot out.

The bot gives up on a peaceful way to pry the door open and instead yanks it off its hinges, setting it carefully right beside the opening while he bends down and reaches inside, pulling out a handful of dolls in tiny boxes. His stash of stolen goods gets tucked into his subspace, and Blitzwing picks up the door and leans it back in the doorway where it once stood, adjusting it so it's less crooked, but still just as unattached.

There's going to be a very angry shop owner later in the day.

She walks over to the mech while sending a text message for the guys to head over. "You need to put those back."

The triple-changer gasps at her theatrically, "It is ze little techno-organic!" The mech's glossa flicks out at her, "You are looking very shiny today."

If she didn't know that Random didn't just do that to a lot of bots right now, she'd say he's hitting on her in the odd bot way. "And you _still_ need to put those back."

He pouts at her, "I do not zink I will. Zey are too pretty to be stuck in a store, and not wiz other dollies."

"They will end up with other dolls when someone _buys_ them and takes them home."

Biltzwing vents a sad little sigh, "Nein. Zey will come home wiz _me_, and I will introduce zem to my ozer dollies and zen we shall have a tea party!" He cackles madly, and materializes a tiny tea cup from subspace, filled with strange purple liquid, "Would you like a cup of tea?"

She takes the cup when he shoves it at her and peers into the liquid. It's really almost _violet_ in shade, and it looks like it has the texture of cream. "Yeah, I'm not sure this is actually edible, Blitzwing."

He crouches down so they are face to face, "It is from Megatron's private storage!" He puts a finger to his mouth, "Do not tell anyone, ja? You can keep it, zough."

She blinks at him, "I don't know what it _is_."

He gasps at her, "You do not? It is energon! Ze highgrade energon!" He pushes it to her with one finger, "Ze _best_ highgrade. I zink you will like it, ja?"

She pushes it back, "No. I'm not going to be drinking something you hand me, crazy-boy."

Blitzwing dips his long glossa in the cup and then hands it back to her. "Zere. Now you know it is not poisoned."

Had he really just . . . she shakes her head and pushes it back, "Now I know you just shoved your glossa in it and made it completely gross." His glossa is long and bizarre and you don't just drink something someone else shoved their tongue in.

Pouting, the triple-changer sulks for a klik before his optics brighten, and Sari finds herself lifted up and _kissed_. That glossa flicks over her closed lips and then Random cackles, "Zere, now we have had a kiss and you can drink from ze cup."

She shudders in horror when she's set down, giving him a grossed out look. "You... You just..."

He cackles again, "I _kissed_ you!" He pushes the cup back in her hands, "And now you will drink ze energon, ja?"

She pushes it back, wiping her mouth off with the back of her arm, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

There's a flip, and she's surprised to see Icy instead of Hothead. The bot smirks at her, "I am looking for ze Allspark fragment, little bot. I just got distracted."

"There aren't any fragments around here," she grumbles, because she would _know_ if there were. She can feel them. "If you're slagging done, you should just put the dolls back and go. That way-" she's cut off by being picked up a second time, another mouth pressing over hers. Since she's mid-shout at that point, her mouth is open, and Icy takes the opportunity to thrust his glossa inside, sweeping over her tongue. When he breaks the kiss, one of his optic ridges is raised.

"You have a surprisingly sweet taste for a techno-organic. Kissing Blackarachnia is far less pleasant." A curious servos slides up her legs and fingers touch her thighs under her metal skirt. "I would not mind doing zis wiz you again."

She charges up her servos and blasts him in the face, it doesn't exactly damage him but _does_ get the message through. "Don't you touch me!"

She starts to wriggle out of his arms at the sound of another flip, and Hothead yanks her into another kiss. She kicks the mech in the face when she pulls away, and curses loudly when one of her ponytails snaps off. The mech flips to Random again, out of shock, "You broke your headfin!"

It barely even hurts, and she scowls, reflexively twitching her functional pigtail antenna. "Shut up and let go of me, you fragging asshole bot." She twists in his servos, and he drops her. Sari backs rapidly out of reach of him. "You know that stupid thing is going to be _all_ over the news." She rubs her optics, "Fragger. Now I have to explain to my dad that I don't need, like, counseling to deal with random kisses from fragger bots."

The mech makes a soft sound, "I should take you to ze medic." He picks up the pigtail and taps it against her helmet in a futile attempt to reconnect it. "Maybe Lord Megatron will know how to do zat?" There's a flip to Hothead, "But zen he will try to take you from me!" And a flip to Icy, "But he is very knowledgeable about zings like zis."

She kicks him in the servo, managing to stop getting held just barely, "I'm not going to _Megatron_, you fragger!" She darts out of his reach, really wishing she'd have brought her jetpack instead of walking.

She decides to take refuge in an alleyway that is too narrow for Blitzwing to access, and the bot shoves himself up against the entrance, reaching in to try and grab her, "Nein, you need to come wiz me so zat we can repair you!" His fingers sweep and curl just in front of her, and she edges further back to avoid him. "Please come out, little bot. You must be hurting, and we can fix zat."

"Frag off," she growls, blasting his servo with energy.

He curses, but keeps trying to reach. "_Nein_. You are damaged, and not zinking clearly. I will take you wiz me, and you can stay in my room safely."

She's about to curse at him again when there's a shout of, "Blitzwing!" She knows there are other times she's been just as relieved to hear Optimus's voice, but she can't think of one. "You _will_ leave her alone!"

There's a flip to Hothead, and the mech pulls away from her to yell at the bots, "_Nein_! She is injured, and I will fix her! You can not have her!"

"Injured? You've _injured_ her?" Bumblebee growls, and there's a sudden loud crackle of eletricity and Blitzwing is jerking back and cursing at his smoking, stinging armor. "You get the frag away from Sari!"

She slips out of the alley and into the comforting circle of her teammates and family. "You got here just in time," she says with a grin, and Optimus gasps, lifting a tremulous servo to point at her head.

"Y-your headfin. . ."

She waves a servo, "Yeah, yeah, it broke off. Can we ge-"

The next thing she knows, she's being handed to Ratchet by Prowl, and the ninjabot is glaring absolute murder at Blitzwing. "I'll go help them take care of him, you fix her up, Ratchet."

And he's gone while she sits in the ambulancebot's arms.

Ratchet looks down at her with a scowl, "Why aren't you curled up in a ball crying? Do I need to up your pain receptors like I did Optimus?"

She shoves at his arms. "I'm fine. It barely hurts at all. I mean, it's just like, hair or something. If it's dead stuff when I'm human, I don't see why it would suddenly get super sensitive when I'm a bot. I bet it's just wired differently than your normal bot parts."

Ratchet touches the sparking connection where the pigtail had been attached and prods at it with a little tool while the rest of the bots attack Blitzwing, who seems rather reluctant to actually fight back. "You've got some exposed wires. At the very least, those should be stinging like slag."

She shrugs, "I'm fine. It isn't the _best_ feeling, but it isn't like I can't deal with it."

He sighs at her, using another tool to carefully fix the broken wires. "I'm going to need the headfin before being able to replace it. You aren't exactly made of readily available materials."

She makes a face, "Well, I think Blitzwing put it in his subspace. We aren't going to be _able_ to get that back. If worse comes to worse, I'll just remove the other one. They aren't really more than decorations."

Ratchet flicks the back of her helmet with a finger. "Don't even think about it. If we have to, we'll build you a new one. It's tiny, and we've got enough scrap laying around to do it." He studies her for a klik, "Not sure if we've got the paint that'll match you, but we'll give it a shot."

Blitzwing curses loudly in the distance and there's a roar of engines again as the bot takes off and leaves. _Good riddance to him_, Sari thinks. She still can't believe he kissed her. _Three_ times. "So, uh, did you happen to see anything before you got here?"

Ratchet gives her a questioning glance, "See what?"

Oh good, they hadn't seen her being kissed by the giant Decepticon. "Nothin'."

* * *

><p>When she transforms back from bot mode, she keeps from cursing when she sees herself in the mirror. She's <em>missing<em> a ponytail. It looks like someone just chopped it off with a knife, leaving the ends all jagged and terrible. She's glad she's _home_ when she did this, not wanting to deal with whatever nonsense the guys would come up with, and kinda curious about what she'd get in the package for today.

Today's box is sitting next to her, and she's debating if she should open it _before_ she changes outfits to go to a hair stylist or after she changes. Deciding that putting off gifts is for suckers, she flops down on the bed, and turns on the tv before grabbing the box.

She's really starting to wonder who's sending her all this stuff, but she's not one to look a gifthorse in the mouth. The present is done up in baby pink paper with a bow the exact same shade as a cube of energon. Inside the box is _another_ box, and Sari scowls at it.

"If this is one of those russian nesting boxes, I'm going to hunt whoever's giving this stuff to me and put them in a box." Luckily, there are no further boxes, and inside the second box is a tiny, delicate figurine made out of glass. It takes her a second to recognize that the tiny glass girl is _her_.

She smiles at her pigtails on it, wondering vaguely the person will send a replacement when they see her new haircut after she gets it. She's putting it up on a shelf when she hears something horrible on the tv. "-ari Sumdac with the well known Decepticon robot called Blitzwing."

She tunes out the commentary for a moment, only watching in horror as it shows Blitwing holding her tightly and kissing her. She picks up that the anchors are stressing how she is clearly the victim and was heard telling Blitzwing to put the stolen goods back.

They're usually pretty good about not slandering the Sumdacs too much, because her dad has a mega-awesome corp of lawyers that are practically foaming at the mouth for victims. Of course, she wouldn't care if they were slandering her right now, as long as it was something _other_ than her getting molested on live tv.

Because that means that-

Her internal com chimes, and Sari sighs, opening the line, "Yes, Optimus?"

"You were _assaulted_ by Blitzwing that way and you _didn't even tell us_?"

She waves a hand, not that he can see it, "You took care of it. I'd prefer if they wouldn't show that clip of all three of his personalities doing it again, but that's really too much to hope for." She's most likely going to have to go out in a public show and fraggin' _talk_ about it. She'd like to decline any invites, but she'll _have_ to go. Maybe she'll take Optimus with her or something.

"You should have _told_ us! We need to check your code to make sure he didn't use his glossa to hack you or something!"

She blinks at the wall, "... can that actually happen?"

"We can't rule it out when Random has such an odd looking glossa."

Sari is pretty sure she doesn't have any access ports _in her mouth_. "Nah. I'm fine. You should use your time on something _useful_, like not scanning me to see if I was _hacked by a tongue_."

"Glossa," Optimus automatically corrects, and Sari snorts.

"It's the same difference. You say po-tay-toe, I say po-tah-toe." She holds the tiny glass figurine up to the light, and her eyes widen a bit. There's the tiniest bit of blue glass-so tiny it's almost hidden-right where her spark would be. And there's a tiny dot of red right beside it. Her heart, maybe?

He sighs on the other end, "Either way, you need to get over here so we can check on you."

She puts the figure away very carefully, "Not happening. I need to go do damage control from this, and fix my hair. I'll talk to you later." She disconnects the call, and puts a temporary block on everyone but Ratchet. If Ratchet insists on contacting her to yell, then she'll accept it as needed. Until then, she has to change her clothing, and head out to get her hair cut.

* * *

><p>Please Review<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Transformers belongs to Hasbro

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><p>It had taken several hours to get her hair cut and convince her father that she wasn't traumatized from a couple of kisses, even if they had been slagging gross ones. That glossa on Random was <em>huge<em>. She has no idea how he fits it all in his mouth, and no desire to find out.

She was dressed in a sleek, professional suit, and her red hair is just as smooth and sleek. Sari looks more adult than she ever has before-pigtails don't really scream 'adult woman' in her culture, after all, even if she does love the hell out of them.

She does one last check in the mirror before striding out to the show she got invited on at the very last minute. She hadn't even _known_ that they would invite her that very day, but here she is. She sits on the other side of the desk, smiling at the talk show host that she never ever watches, but she knows that is apparently very popular. She knows for a fact that they aren't going to do anything to humiliate her or anything that will be something other than damage control.

Her father's lawyers are incredibly helpful, and _Bee_ said he likes the show. It can't be that bad.

"Welcome to our program, Miss Sumdac. I'm very pleased to have you on today." The host smiles cheerfully at her, and she smiles back at him.

"I'm glad to have made it. Normally I'd be nagging Optimus or playing with Bumblebee." Sari winks at the camera playfully, "He gets upset that he can't beat any of my highscores on the games we play together."

The host gives her a delighted look, "A gamer then?" She nods, wondering if they'll get on topic, and grateful when the guy says, "But this is about what happened just today! Did you change your look because of it?"

She gives him a slightly exasperated smile, "You may have noticed in some of the clips that my helmet decoration broke off when I was trying to get away from Blitzwing. When I went back to human, my entire right ponytail was missing. Like someone had hacked it off. I decided it was time for a change because of it."

"I see. Well, I have to say you're looking good," the host smiles, and she wishes she could remember his name, but she settles on playfully flirting back with him.

"I wouldn't want to go on air looking like a mess." Sari leans in a bit, smiling at him. Femmes are quite a bit more predatory than mechs, and she's noticed that post-puberty, some of that aggressiveness has transferred into her non-bot-mode times.

She's horribly amused to see the guy _blush_ for some reason, before saying, "I doubt you could look bad, Sari."

She smiles approvingly, "Thank you." She needs to get what she needs to talk about; they only have a limited time. "But we're losing focus," she keeps from reaching over to the host and touching him, it just isn't something you _do_, "I came to talk about Decepticons."

The guy blinks, as if realizing what he's doing, no longer leaning closer and closer, "Ah, yes, right. More specifically about the Decepticon Blitzwing. You and the Autobots deal with him a lot, do you happen to know what he does with the dolls?"

"He collects them, and _plays_ with them, as far as we can tell. He mentions teaparties, so I'm pretty sure he's actually serving them all at a tiny table somewhere." Sari shakes her head, "We have tried to stop the doll thefts, but he is very determined."

The anchor nods, "Yes. It's bad enough that the National Doll Expo had to cancel the show they'd been planning on doing here in Detroit."

She nods, "But better they cancel it than he shows up and takes them all. We've yet to figure out how exactly to keep him out. He's very smart, and seems to have figured out that the signs are there. Taking the dolls out of display helped, but he _is_ a thinking being, and knows how to read."

The host nods, going oddly doe eyed as he looks at her, "Do you have any better suggestions for it?"

She shakes her head sadly, "No, I don't. Even if I did, I wouldn't want to discuss them on national television. They _do_ watch the airwaves to check on things."

"That's fascinating," the man smiles, reaching over to touch Sari's hand. "Do the Autobots have any favorite programs?"

They did, but she wasn't sure if it was wise to let everyone know that they were terribly addicted to horrible soap operas. Apparently bots are really fragging _good_ at keeping bizarre plotlines and twists in order, and they can have soap operas that last literally for _vorns and vorns_. Thousands of years of the same show and same twisty plots. Well, it wasn't _her_ reputation being ruined. "They really enjoy soap operas. Pretty much _all_ of them."

The host moves a tiny bit closer, and she playfully taps his chin before gently pushing him back down in his chair - she _really_ wishes she knew if this sort of odd behavior is going to happen with every guy she's talking to. She doesn't really associate with other humans. The host gives her a longing look, "Soap operas? That's so interesting."

She gets the impression that if she has said mildew he'd have said the same thing. Her eyes dart to the audience, who has everyone of both genders looking like they wish they could be next to her. It is the sight of a drone tugging on what is obviously a director about wrapping up that let's her decide to cut this talk short. "Yeah. Really interesting. But I think we're out of time."

He blinks up at her, "We are? Well, is there anything else you'd like to say before you head off?"

"Just that everyone should be careful around Decepticons. Even when they aren't doing damage, they're dangerous and unpredictable." She ducks her head, "I'd also like to say thanks to whoever keeps sending me gifts. Thank you, anonymous gifter." She waves at the camera.

The host proclaims they'll be going to a commercial, and there's a sudden and loud crash in the studio along with a roar of engines and the sound of a . . . helicopter?

There's suddenly two bots in the studio, and she vaguely recognizes the motorcyclebot as Oil Slick, and only because of Prowl mumbling something about how the mech is the worst ninjabot ever. But the other one, she has no clue who he is, just that he is absolutely _gigantic_. Even bigger than Megatron. Her spark pulses at the size of him, and she changes into botmode without even thinking about it.

She's venting hard, and puts a servo right over her spark, trying to calm it. When the mech looks at her, there's a faint whisper in her mind that tells her, without any doubt, this bot is called Blackout and he has a spark that will be wonderful and hot and perfect for her to use. She whispers softly, "... oh... that's what that's about."

Blackout stares at her, and her servo on her chest, before turning to say something to the cyclebot with him. Oil Slick studies her, and Sari drops her servo, her spark still pulsing with heat. She really wants to climb right up Blackout and see if interfacing is better than self-service for her spark. It'd be easy to get his plates open. Just a little bit of Allspark energy and his locks will be _gone_. Not unlocked. Not broken.

_Gone_.

The Allspark does not approve of bots interfering with its Priestesses access to sparks.

She stumbles a bit at that thought, freezing in place awkwardly. Priestess? What? Why is she thinking about the Allspark? What's going on? She's interrupted from her thoughts at being picked up in Blackout's servos. The large mech's engine is purring loudly, and she can hear his plates unlock. "Would you like to use my spark, little bot?"

She rubs her optics, suddenly _really_ realizing where she is, and glad the mech isn't actually holding her tightly. Pulling away, she kicks the bot in his head, "Frag you!"

Blackout curses and stumbles back, dropping her. Sari lands on her feet and charges up her servos, ready to blast the Decepticons if necessary.

The cyclebot sidles up alongside Blackout, one corner of his mouth curled up in a smirk, "This is neither the time nor the place to interface, Blackout. If you want to interface with the little bot, you'll need to take her back with us and hope Lord Megatron allows you to keep her in your room." He bares his denta in a smile, and Sari increases the power coiling in her hands. "Now, we are here to kidnap you, techno-organic. Please don't put up a fight, and I won't have to use this," he flicks out a little vial of liquid from his subspace, and the color inside is a noxious green.

Her sparkpaint flares a brilliant blue and she can feel more energy pour through her, and she blasts him. The little vial vanishes, and Oil Slick ends up knocked off his peds, cursing loudly. "Do _not_ threaten me," she growls.

Blackout's engine roars and she knows that isn't an angry sound. That sound was the helicopter hearing the tone and thinking about having her opening her plates under him in the berth. Something she has no intention of doing.

She charges up her servo again, "Get out."

Blackout's optics dim with obvious lust, and starts to open his mouth to say something when he pauses, tilting his head. The mech puts a claw to his temple, "... Really? Yes, Sir." The bot picks up the still cursing Oil Slick and heads out of the open hole they had made in the building. She watches in confusion as it happens, and the looks around. It does appear that no one got hurt in the ... scuffle she supposes it could be called.

She's grabbed by the arm, and pushed into the chair by the desk again, and the host is looking at the camera as he talks, "And again Sari works to keep us all safe!" He turns to her, "Do you happen to have anything to say about what just happened?" He pats her arm, "And go ahead and de-armor, the interview doesn't need to be cut short now."

She sighs and lets her armor slip back into the strange subspace place it always goes. "That was a couple of Decepticons proving my point. You have to be careful around them. Don't try and fight them. Not unless you're armed properly, and even then you shouldn't do it without back-up." She lets a hand transform, and the host makes appreciative noises, little sounds that make her think of him in the berth. And her hand isn't even in a weapon configuration. Just the one she uses to interact with computers.

Think of him in the _bed_.

She's spending too much time around the bots. That's why all this weirdness is turning up in her head. Next thing she knows, she'll constantly calling her human parts by the bot counterparts, and that's not really a good thing. She has _eyes_, not optics.

The host pets her hand, "When you put the armor on does it _always_ do that?" He points at her outfit, "And I notice your hair is long now."

She curses, touching her head. "I just _got_ my hair cut. If this happens all the time with my hair, I'm never going to be able to change my hair style. It's like when I tried to keep it down and the next time it was back to pigtails." She sighs down at her ripped up suit, "And yes, this sort of thing," she waves at the outfit, "always happens. That's why I normally wear the dresses and things like that. It isn't worth it to replace them all the time, and I hadn't thought I'd be fighting any Decepticons while I was here."

She's just lucky that the more skintight parts of her outfit-something she'd put on underneath her clothes, just in case this happened-are still intact. She's lucky she's not really a human, or she'd probably die of heat-stroke during the summer months.

"I'm so sorry you had to face such a thing on our show," the host smiles at her, and she wonders if he has decent insurance on this studio, since it's basically trashed. He'd be making a lot off this interview either way, so he should be good to go. "Is there any way I can make it up to you?" There's a cough from someone behind the cameras-probably a PR person, and the host amends, "Any way _we_ can make it up to you?"

She shakes her head, "I'm good. Thank you, though." She knows that it will just end up with _another_ interview, and that's not what she wants to deal with. Let the official spokespeople they hired do this, and she can get back to helping run the company when she isn't fighting off Decepticons.

The host is looking at her doe eyed again, and so is the audience. She kinda wonders how the at home viewers are taking how absolutely scattered this whole interview is. The host sighs dreamily when she moves a tiny bit, "Is there anything that you'd like to say before you have to leave us?"

She rubs the back of her head, "Well, uh... The person that is sending me those gifts is doing really great at choosing nice things?"

"That's very sweet that you have a secret admirer," the host leans in close, and she can see the staff making frantic hand gestures at him to stop. Sari is pretty sure he would have kissed her right then and there if not for the intervention of one of the camera people finally catching the host's attention. He makes a sad noise. "I'm afraid we're out of time for today."

She nods, "It was nice talking to you." She keeps from inching away from the guy, not offering her hand out of fear he'll _kiss_ it.

He nods, "We look forward to seeing you again."

She just nods uncomfortably, and she wishes she knew why he was acting like this. She normally stays away from large crowds, and this is the first time she's ever had so many people so obviously looking at her with bedroom eyes.

They let her leave rather reluctantly, and she's glad this isn't bot tv. On most bot tv, they tend to have interfacing happen on camera. A lot.

It's weird, because Autobots tend to be a bit prudish about it actually happening, but when it's on a show their sparklings might accidentally see, they don't seem to give a frag about it. She just has to chalk it up to robots being _crazy_.

If this had been a bot program, she bets they'd have all ended up on the ground in one mad 'facing orgy that they would never mention publicly ever again.

Crazy aft bots.

* * *

><p>"If you don't put it away, I'm cutting it off."<p>

There's a small pause, and Lockdown gives her a lecherous look, "You always say the sweetest things, darlin'"

She doesn't look up from the datapad she's reading on the couch, "It wasn't me hitting on you. That was me telling you that if you touch me with the hook, I'm breaking all of your mods."

"Don't be like that, darlin'," the bot purrs, his voice a low and throaty sort of growl. "I'm just offerin' to show ya a good time." His servo touches her shoulder, stroking up the little winglet that her botmode has. She doesn't like being unarmored around him.

Sari shudders as he tweaks the very tip of it between his fingers. "Stop that right now, or I will cut off your _servo_ too."

"You don't mean that, sweetspark," his servo slides down and presses over her sparkpaint. "I can feel how hot you're runnin' for me."

She slashes his arm, from back of the hand all the way up to the elbow - brute force really _is_ the only language the bot knows - and goes back to reading. "Go frag Prowl or something. I don't want you touching me."

His engine roars at her, and his optics dim with lust, "But ya got me all hot, you should fix that."

"If by 'fix' you mean 'rip out your spark', then, sure. I can do that."

"Primus, darlin', it isn't fair for you to send out energy waves like that when you're not wantin' bots to pleasure your spark." Lockdown reaches out for her again, and Sari raises a servo in warning.

Something has interested her, though. "Energy waves?"

Lockdown nods slowly, trying to get closer to her, his optics glowing. The Allspark whispers that Prowl keeps him because he's _excellent_ at sucking spark, and he would do a fantastic job with hers if she just lets him prove himself. Sari shakes herself.

"Yeah. Energy waves. The ones you're emittin', makin' everyone want your aft."

She blinks at him, "What."

His engine purrs at her, and he tries to lean in close with dim optics, stopping when she lets her hand weapon start to charge up. "You're sendin' out all sorta energy that's just _beggin'_ for a bot ta come out an' 'face." He starts to move his servo closer, only to stop at the start of an energy blade showing up. "You had it before, but it wasn't anything too bad, just a small call of 'You need ta look at me,' but now it is full out calling for a bot to come and lick your spark."

She gives him a confused look, "How do I turn it _off_?"

"Don't think ya turn something like that off, darlin'." Lockdown stares at her sparkplates, and she feels really dirty for some reason. "Maybe if yer spark is fully sated, you won't have to worry about it at all. Maybe it'll turn off on its own if you aren't so hungry for an overload." He steps closer, "I could help with that. I bet Prowler would love to help too."

Sari gets up and exits the room. Way to totally gross her out. She's never going to interface with Prowl.

She, instead, goes to the medical bay to talk to Ratchet. The medicbot is napping in one of the berths, and she's rather grateful it isn't in the street.

Climbing on the berth next to him, she shakes him a bit, glad that her armor augments her strength. He snorts, snapping online, and looking around in confusion, "What's the emergency? Wh-" He blinks down at her, "What did you want?"

She smiles up at him, "I want you to fix a thing Lockdown told me about."

"Fix a what?" Ratchet eyes her warily. "If he made something up, there's nothing I can do to fix it. Imaginary glitches and viruses aren't my specialty. You'll be wanting a therapist for that."

She slugs him in the shoulder, "Fragger. I'm apparently emitting energy waves that make me super-hot."

Ratchet levels a flat look at her. "Again, there's nothing I can do about imaginary problems."

Sari crosses her arms over her chest. "It's not imaginary. Bots _and_ people have been acting differently around me."

Ratchet rubs his optics, "You're a . . . how do I say this. . .You're a very attractive bot, Sari. Younger bots are going to find you attractive. That's not magic."

She frowns at him, "No, I mean like... You saw how that host on the show was acting with me, he's _married_. You just don't act like that." At Ratchet's blank look, she sighs, "_Bonded_. He's bonded. His femme was very pissed that he acted like that to me, and she wasn't there."

Comprehension dawns on his face, and he nods. "Still, they're all _very_ young, Sari. It just happens."

She gives him a dirty look, "And what about Blackout? He wanted to 'face me."

"He's known for liking small bots. The smaller the better. I think he even went after fraggin' Scalpel once."

Sari blinks. She's seen vids of the little doctor bot, and he's even tinier than her. He's kinda like the size of a little yappy dog, really. "How would that even work? I mean, wouldn't he kinda have to worry about being squished, or like, falling in to a sparkchamber?"

"Bots always find a way, Sari."

She shakes her head to clear the mental image of a tiny dog and a gigantic helicopter trying to bang, and says, "Well, I'm also talking about _humans_. This is _not_ normal behavior. At all."

He just shrugs at her, "I really wouldn't know about that. If you want, I can do a spark exam or a general scan, but you always take off when I try."

She _is_ glad he's long sinced stopped hounding her, so she's more willing to allow it now. "I'm okay with a scan, but I still don't want a spark exam."

"And I still say it's the best option for a bot like you. You've never had one before. There's not way to assure that your spark is entirely healthy without an exam."

Like frag is she going to let him stimulate her spark to overload. That's weird and creepy and so not happening. She flickers her optics, teasing him, "Maybe if you brought in a femme medic I might agree to it." She bets she could get a femme to be obedient, and it would be such a triumph, having one whimpering and licking her spark eagerly.

She blinks at the thought, wondering where the Pit that came from.

Hell. She meant Hell.

She rubs her head, "Just scan me. I keep feeling like there's a voice in my head telling me things, and I think it's the Allspark."

He gives her a hesitant look, slipping off the berth to look at her closely, "How long has that been going on, Sari?"

She shrugs, "A few decacyles? I mean... weeks. _Weeks_. Not decacycles."

Ratchet pulls out a medical pad and begins to scan her, and Sari squirms. She knows it doesn't actually feel weird, but she can't help but cringe away. "Open an access port, Sari. I need more than a surface scan and you know it." She pops open a panel on her arm and holds it out for him.

"My blue paint keeps glowing, too." She touches it, aware that among bots, it is vaguely obscene to paint oneself with spark-blue like she is painted. Of course, it makes her wonder about Blurr, who seems to be nearly entirely spark-blue.

He taps her sparkplates sharply, "_Here_. I can't get a deep scan like you need if I hook-up in your arm."

She pouts at him, but opens up for him. When he connects, she sticks out her glossa. "I hate this most."

He snorts, "That's nice. I'm checking your coding." He frowns at her, "If I had a baseline, I'd be able to better know what's wrong _now_."

She huffs, looking away, "I just want to know why I glow and everything I told you about."

"I'm guessing that's because one of your creators is the _Allspark_. That's gonna explain the paint and the glowing right there." He taps the blue circles on the backs of her armored up hands. "Marks that show the Allspark fraggin' loves you. They used to be more common back in the past." He frowns at the datapad. "You are emitting some sort of energy wave, but the scanner barely registers it. It shouldn't have any effect on bots at that weak a level."

She shifts unhappily, "Do you think it would with _humans_?"

He shrugs at her, "If they're acting like that when you say they normally don't, I guess it is powerful? I don't really know, Sari. I wouldn't think it would be nearly as bad as you think it is."

She looks down at the floor, kicking her peds, "I got asked to go meet with the tv show guy and his wife, so he could apologize in person. I'm kinda worried about it now. I've already said I'd go. Do you think I should cancel?"

"If you think it's important, you should go. There's no point in isolating yourself." Ratchet pats her on the back. "I'll keep analyzing this data and let you know if I find anything interesting, alright?"

She nods reluctantly. "Yeah. Alright."

She hopes the dinner isn't a disaster.

* * *

><p>Please Review<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Transformers Belongs to Hasbro

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><p>The dinner is a disaster.<p>

A complete and utter disaster.

Apparently this energy thing works _even better_ when both people in a relationship are present, because the host-his name is David-is nearly nuzzling against her, and his wife-Anna-is actually _on_ Sari's lap. As in, _sitting on her lap in a public restaurant_. It had started with them on the other side of the table, but now they are _right there_. She has no clue how to react to this.

She shifts uncomfortably, "Anna?"

The lady on her lap sighs happily, fingers playing with her hair, "Yes, Sari?"

"Will you, uh... Will you get off my lap?"

Anna hums into her neck, "Why would you want me to do that? You're so _warm_." Well manicured fingers are placed directly above her spark, "Mainly right here, and it seems to be beating." The hand moves slightly to the left, "But I can feel your heart right here."

David _actually_ nuzzles into her at that, "You look very wonderful, Sari."

It's . . wow, it's been a while since she's had a chance to find a human partner she likes and drag them off to the bedroom, but this would be a terrible idea. Human society still isn't big on threesomes, especially when two of the people involved are _married_ and one isn't technically human. "You're very nice, but I really don't think it's cool for us to be doing this right now."

Laughing softly, Anna looks at her, "I don't think anyone in here will object to it. I bet they're _jealous_ that _I_ get to sit in your lap and they don't."

The rest of the people are just as doe eyed as the ones that were in the audience on the show, and it is not making her comfortable. "Still, it may be best if you aren't."

Anna plays with her pigtails, "Are you _sure_? I'd really like to stay." She's given a tiny hidden kiss on her neck, "Keep us with you always."

Okay, that's enough of that. She gently puts Anna back in the chair, "It wouldn't work out, sweetie. Didn't you come here to prove that David doing this was accidental?"

"Well, that was before I realized how _cute_ you were, Sari. Now I understand why David wanted to kiss you." Anna tips her head to one side, and pretty brown curls cascade over her shoulder. Sari really likes her hair. She wouldn't mind holding it while she kisses Anna, and gently guides her to the bed, where David will be tied down all nice for them . . .

No. "No. I think we should maybe end this date right now."

Anna and David look delighted, and David murmurs into her neck, "So this _was_ a date? Would you like to come with us to our house for... coffee?"

She keeps from groaning, "No. This isn't a date, but it is still over. I don't need to go with you to your home."

Anna scoots back next to her, "We could go to _your's_. We don't mind."

There's a quiet voice in the back of her mind that informs her that any non-Cybertronian taken as a Priestess's consort will be blessed with a long, fruitful lifespan.

Sari scribbles out some creditcard information for the waiter she nabs when he walks past, "Please charge this for whatever they choose to eat. I have to leave early." She smiles at David and Anna. "So sorry, but I really don't think we should continue."

Not when she has to go talk to the bots about what the frag a 'priestess' is, and why the Allspark wants her to take consorts.

David and Anna make unhappy sounds as she extracts herself from them, but don't try to grab her back. They make motions to try to give her a kiss goodbye, but she's out before they can go through with it.

* * *

><p>She's glaring at Lockdown in front of her. The bot looks <em>far<em> too smug to make her happy. "I'm _not_ going to have a consort."

Prowl is perched carefully on the back of the chair the neutral is sitting on, "It is needed to keep a High Priestess safe and sane, Sari."

Optimus coughs into his servo, "Well, you don't _have_ to do it right away. You, uh, you have a person courting you, right?"

She blinks. "I have a what?"

He waves a servo at the charm bracelet she still wears on her wrist. "The gifts you've been receiving. I assume you are still getting them frequently?"

What the slag does that have to do with a courtship? Sari nods, holding her wrist close to her chest, as if protecting the gifts, and the person sending them to her. "Yeah. But see, _humans_ don't do _courtships_, and bots don't send cutesy earth gifts."

Optimus sighs softly, "Well, according to Cybertron law, which you technically fall under, if they send you at least fifty before revealing themselves, and you have publicly acknowledged the gifts, they are courting you." He pauses, shifting a little uncomfortably, "Normally it is one huge thing every stellar cycle for fifty stellar cycles. What's going on with you is only acceptable if it would reveal their identity to you if they did something really big."

She rubs her optics... _eyes_ tiredly, "Well, if it is a person I don't know at all, and they are sending me something every sol... _day_, then it clearly doesn't count, does it?"

"Unless," Prowl trails off, and all optics in the room fix on him, "well, no. That's ridiculous, really. They wouldn't."

Feeling like the entire world is crowding in on her, Sari shifts so she's out of reach of the bots. "Unless what?"

Prowl falls silent, his expression quite serious, "Unless a bot is sending you these gifts."

They all look at each other, and Bumblebee scoffs, "Well, I sure as slag aren't. I mean, ew. You're cute, Sari, but you're like a sparkling to me still."

She shoots him a glare, "Yeah, which makes no sense at all 'cause I'm at least twice as mature as _you_."

He sticks his glossa out at her childishly, and she's about to push him when Ratchet puts a servo on her shoulder. "Allspark wants you as a Priestess. The _High Priestess_. That means that we're going to have to teach you about it. Lockdown _would_ be the best one to teach you that, but frag him. I have datapads I can put together, and Ultra Magnus is coming soon. You can ask _him_."

She nods, that would be _a lot_ better than dealing with Lockdown's perversion. "Thank you, Ratchet."

Maybe if Lockdown wasn't after her spark, he'd be a good teacher for this stuff. He's really old and knows a lot, and he's pretty easy to be around when he's not perving on everything. The bounty hunter pouts and pulls Prowl against him. "Frag. That's too bad, little bot. I was hoping you'd accept some lessons." He squeezes Prowl's hips, "I'm gonna go console myself with our ninjabot here. I've got a few interfacing mods I wanna show him."

That was really _way_ too much information.

* * *

><p>She's sitting cautiously in the Burger Bot, trying to keep control over the stupid energy. She'd do this in the Sumdac industries buildings, but that's just full of drones and things. While here there are actual humans around to make sure she's doing it correctly. She's glad for the Allspark's tiny whispers in her processor about how to control things, even it it keeps telling her that she shouldn't suppress it. It does, however, seem to think she <em>is<em> being courted by whoever is giving her the gifts, and isn't pressing too hard to find a human to marry.

Thus why it is teaching her.

She has her optics closed as she slowly works her way around the feelings the Allspark is guiding her through, when there's a rag on her face that smells faintly like a hospital. She tries to move around to figure out what's happening, but then everything goes blank.

Everything is pulsing bright, intensely painful colors when she opens her eyes again.

Sari has no idea how long has passed, or where she is. There's a bed under her-no, it's a cot. A cot mounted to the wall. A prison bed. She sits up slowly, careful of the ache in her head. She's in a prison cell.

Or a very accurate facsimile of one. Except in this one, the bars are a staticky blue, and she's pretty sure they're made of some kind of energy, since they hum and crackle all around her.

"Oh, good, you're awake," comes a cheerful voice, and Sari wants to slug the owner of said voice for being so fucking happy.

She clutches her head, "Oh Primus, shut up."

The voice, if anything, gets _louder_, "Is Primus some sort of god or something? Or is it just a name you say because you don't want to blaspheme?"

She curls up, head between her knees, "Primus, God, Jesus, Allah, Budda, frag, fuck, shit, slag, _whatever_. Shut up."

There's a tiny pause, and now she _knows_ the man is doing this to frustrate her because he is extra cheerful and loud, "You can still do a few more, I don't really mind!"

"Fuck. You."

He comes closer, and Sari looks up. The person tormenting her is pretty young, all things considered. He's probably in his mid-twenties, and he has short cropped dark hair. She's trying to memorize his features, and then mentally smacks her forehead. She's part bot. She can _record_ him and then send a file to the cops if the kidnapper somehow gets away after she breaks free. "You're not a very friendly person, are you?" the man says sadly, shaking his head. "That's understandable, with a tyrant for a father like you have."

She blinks. A tyrant? Who the slag would call her daddy that? Were they even talking about the same man? "You do realize I'm Sari Sumdac, right? You didn't kidnap the wrong person?"

The guy straightens up, "I know who you are! You're the daughter of the horrible Isaac Sumdac! Destroyer of rainforests and killer of animals!'

She looks at him for a few seconds, not really sure how to respond to that. He _does_ look like he wants her to say something, though. "... what."

He glares at her, "He cuts down rainforests and kills all sorts of animals in his pursuit of profit!"

She gives him a very blank look, "You realize we make robots, right? And that we regularly go out and donate to planting trees and repopulating animals. I spent, like, a month out planting trees just this summer. On the hottest fragging sols of the stellar cy-" She shakes her head, "Days of the year."

"Your father _destroys_ our planet! He steals from her resources and uses them for _profit_! I have seen the destruction myself. I went with the Restoring the Environment volunteers this summer to witness the destruction your father has created! We worked hard to fix what he has done." The man sneers at her, and Sari resists the urge to cover her face with her palm.

"My father _funds_ that group. And he sends them on trips to work on areas of land destroyed by other companies that _he_ buys afterwards to repair."

The guy looks absolutely confused, "No. I... I..." He seems to rally, and she wants to punch him, "I'm not going to let you trick me! You just want me to let you go and you can have your father destroy the environment!"

She's not going to get through to this crackpot. Walking over to the bars, she looks at them closely, "Electrified? You can kill me if I touch that, you know."

He shakes his head, "No. You're able to withstand greater dangers than just that. I saw you get thrown through a _building_ and come out just fine. This isn't going to hurt you."

She nods, tapping her ped on the floor, "And what, exactly, is stopping me from just breaking out?"

"They're specially charged disrupting bars," the man says cheerfully. "We worked very hard on them. Our scientists are very smart." He nods. "Much smarter than the rest of us. We're just the grunts. The lackeys. We are the fighters and foot soldiers in this war, and that means we get put in the risky positions because we're expendable."

Sari laughs. "Like pocket monsters. Are you going to challenge me to a fight with your Humbat?"

He gives her a confused look, "Is that the game kids play? I was never really into video games, they seemed really childish."

She blinks at him, "You know that the series has been going on, for like, seventy years, right? How can you _not_ get the reference? Do you just keep your head under a blanket all your life? That would explain why you think my dad is destroying the environment. Are you guys just demanding safe business practices for my return or what?"

"We are demanding that your father go to prison for what he's done to our planet." The man smiles. "And money to pay for all of our efforts. We deserve compensation. The _planet _deserves compensation."

Ah. It _always_ boiled down to money with these people. Fragging idiots.

She glances down at her frame and frowns. Part of her . . well, she's never really been sure how much of her is actually skin and what is bot. She's bled before, but right now there's a bit of bared circuits on her arm. How irritating. "And you damage me. Great. I'm sure dad will get right on that."

He gives her a dark look, which is _really_ amusing, since he actually stops smiling to do it. "We took very good care of you! You fell down in the beginning, but that's _all_."

She rubs her optics, "Whatever." Maybe she should just transform and burst through the wall or something. If they didn't fi-

She's cut off from that thought by a gigantic gray hand slamming through the wall, and breaking the cell apart. The next thing she knows, she's in said hand, and she realizes it is attached to _Megatron_.

Some of the debris has hit the kidnapper, and he's laying on the ground, groaning in pain. He's not bleeding heavily, and seems fine, so Sari focuses on Megatron instead. "What the frag are you doing? Put me down!" she commands, and Megatron carefully turns her in his servos, gently stroking her frame as if looking for damage. When he comes to the patch of bared circuit on her arm, he growls.

"They _damaged_ you." His voice promises _death_ to the ones responsible.

She kinda just wants to take a nap now that she's not dealing with that bullshit from the guy. "I'm fine." She blinks at him, "Why the frag do you even _care_?"

The mech cradles her against his chest glaring down at the guy that was guarding her, "You are clearly going to be a Priestess of the Allspark. The way all the... humans act around you is proof of that. Not to mention Blitzwing kissing you or how my spark reacts with you so very near."

Megatron's spark _is_ very warm and pulsing against her frame, a comforting feeling that makes her kinda sleepy. "I don't wanna be the Allspark High Priestess," she murmurs faintly.

"It is not a duty that can be rejected." Megatron pulls out a small vial of ugly blue liquid and pours it over her exposed circuits, and the tingling pain of them suddenly stops. "Not without losing yourself to madness. It would be a pity to lose a bot such as yourself because you could not accept your fate."

"I don't want to be a Priestess and I don't want a consort." Not when consorts were supposed to be subordinate and docile. That's not what she wants in a partner at all.

Megatron nods. "You were raised in a different culture. It is understandable that you would not desire the same things that a Cybertronian raised Priestess might." He offers her a tiny datapad, sized to fit in _her_ servos. "The Autobots are sorely lacking in information on the earliest Priestesses. They were not always the way they have been recently."

She curls up against his sparkplates, which he's holding her near, "Do..." She looks at the datapad unseeingly, "Did you watch that tv show I was on earlier? Where I thanked the person sending me the gifts and said how much I liked them?"

Megatron stiffens a little bit, but then relaxes and nods, "I did."

She leans against him, "Optimus and them say it means I accepted a courting. I don't even know the person that's sending it all."

He pets her gently on the head, "Accepting a courting is not the same as the person being assured of being a consort. It just means that you are willing to try when you finally meet them, and that you think their gifts are well suited to you."

"It's weird." Sari really shouldn't be this comfortable with Megatron, but he's being so nice, and he hasn't attacked any bots or humans for over a month and maybe he's a better bot than she'd thought?

And his spark was so large and hot and comfortable and would hold many sparklings if she chose to mate her spark to his, and-

Sari shut the Allspark out of her processor in horror. She was not going to . . to have offspring with Megatron of all bots. That was just _wrong_.

No matter how hot it might be.

Megatron just spends the entire flight gently petting her back to soothe her. By the time they make it to Sumdac Industries, she's almost asleep. The mech gently shakes her into wakefulness, "Would you like to go in through the front door or just straight to your room."

She rubs her optics, trying not to fall into the drouse again, "I'd like to just go to my room, but I should go tell dad I'm safe now. If I'm lucky he didn't even notice and spent all the time I was gone in the lab. If not, he's had the entire sol to just worry about me."

Considering how many meals her dad misses, it wouldn't surprise her if he had no idea she'd been taken. Unless they'd made ransom demands, no one probably knew anything. Her dad would assume she was with the bots, and the bots would assume she was with her dad. They'd taken her from a completely deserted Burger Bot, after all.

It's not as if the drones there would have even understood what was going on.

Megatron sets her on the edge of her floor, the large glass window-walls having opened for them when she'd gotten within range. She does love that her dad understands how much she loves flying with her jetpack.

He presses a finger to her cheek, an oddly loving gesture, "You stay safe, Priestess. I don't want to have to rescue you again. Take one of your team with you if you plan on going into public areas alone." The bot pauses for a moment, "And congratulate Optimus on his soon to be bonding to the Magnus. You can tell them that I will not interrupt the visit, and that I only request that they do not send someone to fight us during the time they are here. If they do, the cease fire against them is over."

"I don't mean to complain, but _why_ do you have a cease-fire right now? I mean, it doesn't really make sense. I thought you hated them."

Megatron's lips quirk into a secretive little smile. "I wouldn't want to spoil your fun. I'm sure you are all guessing at what wicked plot I am working on, and I would not ruin your speculation." He kisses the top of her head. "Be well, Priestess. You are quite important to our race." He takes off with a roar of engines, and Sari watches him leave, her spark pulsing wildly in her chest.

Megatron is big, and strong, and oh so hot.

She shakes her head, not really _able_ to clear that thought from it, and heads down to go see if her dad is okay. If he didn't notice, she's not even going to mention what all happened.

* * *

><p>Please Review<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

Cutting porn out of this chapter, check out my livejournal and tumblr to get it :V

Transformers belongs to Hasbro

* * *

><p>She's curled up on Optimus's lap as they wait for Ultra to show up. She's currently reading that datapad that Megatron gave her, and it is <em>far<em> better than the previous datapads she got. If she follows this, she may actually get a consort. She isn't exactly sure _who_ she'd choose, but she's glad mama Allspark isn't pressuring her into it any more than basically pointing out humans and telling her that surely _that one_ is pretty.

It is kind of amusing to see it draw her attention to several clearly married women with children, claiming happily how she can carry Sari's sparklings.

Sari has to send back a brief explanation about how humans interface, and the Allspark sends back waves of shock and horror. It then starts to select pretty men and shows her how it would alter them so they could have a sparkchamber to carry for her.

Sari wants to laugh at how stubborn it is being. It's pretty ridiculous that it is so determined to have her create children so soon. She's nowhere near old enough to want any.

Optimus shifts nervously under her, and she doesn't even look up. "He'll show up soon, Optimus. Don't worry about it."

His engine makes nervous starts and stops, "What if he changed his mind? He doesn't want to ruin his reputation by bonding with _me_."

She pulls out her pocket monsters game, since she knows reading the datapad isn't going to help her now. "Uh huh. Because it totally is terrible for the Magnus to want to bond with the guy who went toe to toe against Megatron and came out on top. I'm not lying at all, promise."

He frowns at her. "You may find this amusing, but I do _not_, Sari. This is important. Bonding is . . it's an enormous act. It's not like a marriage for humans. Humans are so short lived, and many of them bond for only a few stellar cycles at a time. We rarely ever separate after a bonding ceremony is performed. It is a commitment of millions of stellar cycles."

Sari waves a servo at him. "Yeah, yeah, blah blah blah. You love him and he loves you and he's going to come with a teensy little brush to paint you."

Optimus looks down at his servo, blushing brightly, "I wish I could have gotten one for him, but they just don't make them the right way here."

Allspark tells her there is a very special way of making the brush and paint so it doesn't ever come off and bonds instantly, and _she_ could make him one, but it would take her longer than it would for Ultra to get over here.

So it is lucky that she did it when Megatron reminded her that Optimus was getting bonded.

She hums quietly, "Well, I wasn't going to show you just yet, but I guess I can now." She reaches into her subspace, "I only did this because I love you, though. If it was just a random bot on the street, they'd never get anything near so fancy."

Optimus gasps at the brush she reveals to him, his optics getting wet. "Sari," he reaches out with a trembling servo.

The brush is a very pretty thing, even though Sari doesn't appreciate it as much as a full bot would. It's long and slim, and it has delicate coils of gold wire around it, shaping out ancient bonding phrases in the curled metal all along its length. It's pressure-activated, and it already has the paint inside the brush handle, to soak the bristles when they press up against armor. There's no dipping for this kind of brush. Just the intimate act of painting the bonding rings on a bot's finger.

"I... Sari, I co-"

She puts it in his servo, moving his fingers to curve around it safely, "You _can_. It is your's, and is a gift from the Allspark High Priestess. You can't get rid of it now, you have to _use_ it. I know you love that old bot, and he loves you. You're going to be very happy with him. Even if you have to separate again a decacycle later, you can return to Cybertron to be with him later on."

He puts it carefully in his subspace before yanking her into a gentle hug, careful of her unarmored state, "_Thank you_, Sari."

"It's no problem," she reassures him, kissing his cheek. There's a familiar rush of engines in the sky, "That's their ship. He'll be here in less than a breem. Faster than that, I bet. He's probably eager to come and ask you to accept his paint."

She wonders what color he's chosen for Optimus's blue servos. Spark-blue is traditional, but won't stand out very well on the dark blue servos. She's filled Optimus's brush with a deep red. Something visible and obvious. No bot will ever be able to miss that mark on Ultra's white servo.

When she's let go, she settles in to the pocket monsters game, ignoring Optimus's fidgeting. When there's the sound of rumbling, she slips off his lap, and keeps playing. This is really going to be a private moment, and she's not going to bother trying to get into it. There's a call of, "Optimus!" and a response of, "Ultra!"

She looks around for a moment, and edges close to the pair of femmes that came with Ultra, Red Alert and Arcee. Looking up at them, she's kind of amazed that Ratchet _did_ manage to get a femme medic. "So you're the one that's going to do my spark exam, eh?"

"Yep. I understand you haven't had one yet?" Red Alert prods at her sparkplates lightly, inspecting them. "We'll get it out of the way as soon as we've both got a spare moment, alright?"

Sari glances down, glad she'd armored up for that, or Red Alert would have just groped something equally inappropriate. "Bots don't really understand about personal space or social mores do they?"

Red Alert tips her head to one side. "I'm not Glyph. You want someone who adores your little cultures, go to her."

She doesn't have the slightest clue who that is, and just turns to Arcee. "And you're here now! I'm glad. Do you want your present?"

The pink femme smiles, "I'd like that, Sari." The femme kneels down as Sari looks through her subspace, pulling out a small little package. "I have a toy for you. It is based off o-"

Arcee smiles at her, "You said it was one of your subspace creatures, right? The Ratchet one."

"Yeah."

Arcee carefully opens the package, squealing with delight at the adorable fluffy Ratchet-mon toy inside. "Oh, it's perfect!" she hugs it tightly. "So very cute." Her claws poke at his grumpy little face. "I love his expression." The little broken forehead crest gets a gentle rub, "And this too. I really like this part."

Ratchet is watching it all with a deep flush on his cheeks.

She cuddles it even more, "I'll treasure it."

She nods, giving Ratchet a smug look, "I thought you'd like it." She looks back at Red Alert, "If I had any clue you were coming, I'd have got you something, too." Red Alert looks amused, and she continues before the medic can talk, "But now I need to go harass Blurr over there. He needs a very special toy." She holds up a finger, "If you say what I know you're thinking, you're getting cursed _so hard_."

Red Alert pouts, "Take all the fun out of my life, why don't you."

Sari paces over to the racecarbot who is staring longingly at Bulkhead and Bumblebee. It had taken her quite a long time to figure out that the speedy bot was fragging his spark to thoughts of _Bulkhead_ rather than the little yellow minibot. "Hey Blurr. I got you a present."

The bot stares down at her with wide optics, "Really,-you-got-a-gift-for-me-even-though-you-barely-know-me-at-all?-That's-very-kind-of-you-Sari,-I-wouldn't-have-expected-such-a-thing-from-someone-I've-known-for-such-a-relatively-short-time-period."

She nods easily, "I just saw it, and knew you'd love it." She pulls out another toy, and presses it into his servos, "That's Bulmutanku. It's based off a certain bot that I'm sure you regonize."

Blurr's optics dart from the toy to Bulkhead, and his faceplates flush a bit. He whispers softly, "H-how did-you... Ho-"

She pats him on the side, "I am just _that good_. Also, Allspark High Priestess. You should go actually, you know, _talk_ to him. One of the very easiest things to do."

He flushes darker and stares at his peds, "But-bots-have-such-a-hard-time-keeping-track-of-what-I'm-saying-because-I-say-it-so-fast,-and-I-can't-say-it-any-slower.-If-I-got-to-talking-to-him,-he-wouldn't-understand-most-of-what-I-was-saying-and-then-he'd-get-bored-listening-to-me-and-then-he'd-wander-off-and-I-would-be-left-without-anything."

Sari pats him again. "Maybe if you took some high-grade before you went and talked to him the first time, you'd get over that case of nerves you've got."

The mech shuffles his peds, "I-just... It-wouldn't-be... I-co-"

She smiles, "You _can_. Do you need me to remind you that I managed to convince Optimus and Ultra to act on their want to bond?"

Blurr gives her a shy smile, "Should-I-go-now,-or..."

She pushes him to Bulkhead, "_Go_."

The racecar makes it over to the larger bot, and immediately begins speaking to him at high speed. Blulkhead stares blankly for a klik, and Bumblebee's optics widen, glancing at Blurr and then over at Sari and then back again. The minibot seems to actually radiate relief that Blurr _isn't_ interested in him, and Sari's optics narrow.

Eyes. Her _eyes_ narrow.

Why was Bumblebee so pleased that Blurr was interested in another bot? Was he interested in someone too?

There's a whisper in her head about Bee liking _wings_, but she's not exactly sure what the Allspark means like that. Maybe he's after one of the Decepticons or something.

Wait, what? Why did she think _Decepticons_?

She hits her head, trying to clear it of the Allspark's influence, but it doesn't really work. Sighing softly, she'll just let it go. Possibly ask him when they _aren't_ surrounded by all the bots that would freak out horribly if Bee really does like ... Blitzwing or something. She doesn't know. There are a lot of bots with wings, and Blitzwing even has wing in his name.

Primus forbid he's having an affair with a _seeker_, because the Allspark keeps cooing at her about how fertile the clones are with little fragments of itself in them, and how it could easily take control of one of them if it needed to. She's pretty sure they wouldn't appreciate being taken over by the Allspark, even if it was only for a megacycle or so.

Seekers are pretty feisty and easy to anger, after all. They'd probably go on a rampage.

She's glad that the Allspark does tell her very general things about bots wanting to get together. Even more about the seekers, really. If not for that, the jet twins would be here and they'd have Slipstream trying to yank them off to the moon. The Allspark was harassing her about how one of the clones was wanting a bot, but then calmed down awhile ago. She has no clue what that was even about, but it happens a lot and she mainly ignores it by now.

Rubbing her op-_eyes_, she moves back to the femmes, and gently pushes Arcee in the direction of Ratchet. "You should go talk to him or something. I'm sure he'd like that."

The pink femme smiles widely. "I bet he would. Would you mind offering me a quick blessing? Just for luck, you know?"

The Allspark shows her all the blessings she could give, most of which end in sparklings. She's pretty clear that Ratchet's grumble of 'sparklings don't belong in a fragging war,' means that he's not interested in having any at the moment, so she touches Arcee with one glowing servo. Energy leaps from her, and instead of feeling drained, she feels energized and enthusiastic.

Giving blessings for good luck apparently feels _awesome_.

She feels tempted to go do that to _everyone_, but she's interrupted by Red Alert putting a servo on her shoulder. "Should we do that spark exam, then? They," a servo is waves at Optimus and Ultra nuzzling and whispering to each other, "aren't going to be doing anything for awhile, and the painting is normally private anyway. Unless they wanted a blessing or something."

Allspark chatters softly in her processor about how she's already blessed them with the bonding brush, and she needs to make sure her spark is just fine. Maybe she can convince Red Alert to lay on the berth with her and play with the medic's spark over and over.

She smacks the side of her head a little bit, mumbling irritably, "Shut _up_, mama Allspark, or I will never touch a bot again."

A servo touches her lightly, and Red Alert gives her a concerned look. "You are hearing the Allspark's voice in your head? We need to do this exam soon. Possibly run some full scans on you."

Sari follows the medicbot out of the room and into the medical bay, where she _locks_ the door and even puts a little sign out. _Stay away from here for now, Ratchet, unless someone is about to DIE_. "I'm just fine. I'm the Priestess, as you saw, and since we're so close to the Allspark, it likes to talk to me."

Red Alert shakes her head, "You're still going to need scans and the spark exam. I've _never_ heard of a High Priestess doing that, and I even read up on it when I was asked to come."

Sari looks down sheepishly, then climbs on to the medical berth, "Yeah, the datapads I got from the Autobot things weren't really all that complete. Lockdown and Megatron had information that really filled a lot of things out."

The medic gives her a shocked look, "M-Megatron?"

She nods, pulling out the datapad she was handed, "Yeah! This has been incredibly helpful, and the Allspark is backing up most of the information. The parts that it _doesn't_ back up are actually parts that the Autobots also have down with it. From what I can tell that's just the bots _thinking_ it was right, but really being wrong."

For instance, the parts that insist that a Priestess is better off with multiple consorts is completely wrong. A Priestess is better off with multiple consorts if she doesn't know any of them very well. If there's a bot her spark genuinely adores, then she will be perfectly safe and stable with them, especially if that bot is a larger model who can handle more energy being shunted his way.

However, the Allspark _does_ whisper that it would be a _shame_ to only have one consort when two or three would make life much more entertaining, and provide more support for raising her sparklings.

She doesn't know if she wants that or not. She'll think about it.

Red Alert gives her a nervous look, "Well, you _still_ need that spark exam, and I want several full scans done."

She nods, armoring up as she lays down. "Is there anything specific you need me to do, or do I just need my plates open and you do the rest?"

The medic taps her plates, "Just open up, and I'll tell you if we need to do anything special." When she does, the datapad is plugged in, "I was informed that you have a high spark heat for such a small bot and that you emit some sort of energy that makes you seem especially attractive. Is this true?"

"Do I seem more attractive to you than normal?" she replies, striking a sultry pose, which is actually kinda hard to do. At least some of it's the same for bots and humans-trying to draw attention to her chest and her hips.

Red Alert's engine revs, and the medic femme taps her helmet sharply, "Stop that. I do not appreciate being distracted during an exam, and I would like to keep this professional. No matter how much my systems may be trying to convince me that I should perform your spark stimulation with my glossa, rather than my servo."

She returns to her relaxed pose, "Well, I am getting better at controlling it, but the Allspark says it will never go away. It will be cut down to less than a fourth of what it is currently when I find a consort I love, but I can amp it up at will if I want to."

Red Alert looks slightly uncomfortable, "Can you put it down lower than it is right now?"

She shakes her head, "I already cut it as low as I can, and I have to avoid going through areas with too many humans. I don't want them to be swooning after me if I stay in a place too long. The only one not affected is my _dad_."

And a few people that the Allspark has informed her are completely asexual. So basically, pretty few people that she can be around without them wanting to jump her bones.

It makes going out to buy clothes and stuff a nightmare, especially now that the humans seem to be coming to terms with her powers and they're all agreeing that she's a very eligible bachelorette and highly desirable.

She's got wealth, class, and she's pretty. The amount of junk mail that her secretary drones have had to sort through has increased tenfold.

She still gets the gifts from the mystery gifter every day. It is something she always looks forward to in the sea of random marriage proposals and other things she's sent. She does _not_ appreciate all the various naked pictures of guys that think they are crazy hot and make her want to gouge out her optics.

Body builders with no necks and gigantic muscles that look like someone took a computer model and pulled all the sliders to the right makes her feel more than a little sick.

The little thoughtful gift she gets from the person makes wading through all of that more worthwhile.

It's starting to seem more likely that her suitor is a bot of some sort, and she's really hoping he's not a Decepticon. With her luck, it'll be Starscream and she'll be saddled with a crazy screechy seeker who demands interfacing every megacycle or so to sate his crazy seeker lust. Sure, sure, some people claimed seekers were just like every other bot, but Sari knew the truth. They were crazy 'facing fiends.

Red Alert absently starts to rub her stomach, sitting on the berth next to her as she looks through the scanning datapad. Femme claws start to play with her seams, "You _are_ running hot for your size, and you seem to have all sorts of odd firewalls. Did Ratchet install these?"

She shifts under the servo, not sure if she wants to continue the touches or not, "N-no. He said that I came with them, and they didn't really seem to be hindering anything, so he left them. He thought the Allspark may have done it to keep me safe."

"I see," those wicked claws shift to the edge of her sparkchamber and begin to tickle her wires. "Your tactile sensors seem fully functional." She plucks at a wire bundle and Sari groans at how _good_ it feels to have another bot do this. It didn't feel nearly as good when she did it herself. "Let's see if your spark is reacting normally."

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><p>Please Review<p>

Okay, I obviously cut out porn at the end of this. If you want to see it, it is on my live journal and on my tumblr. The links to those are on my profile.

If you go to my livejournal, my very first entry on it is a masterlist of all the stories Tash and I have done that are uploaded without anything cut out. Also, in the one after that, is the chapter for today. That entry has a link to where we are writing today! In the typewith if it isn't dead. If it is dead, then we're in the . only allows eight people, so it only has room for six people to watch. We hope the typewith does not die :V

Tumblr is mostly ignored by me except when I upload or when my friend wants me to look at it. if you prefer it, then use that o3o I don't care about which you use.


	6. Chapter 6

Transformers belongs to Hasbro

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><p>Sari looks down at the rather large package on her bed, it is still obviously from her mysterious gifter, but is also the largest one she's been sent. She's actually <em>really<em> nervous about this, since this is actually the fiftieth gift she's gotten from the person. If it is from a human, she can just put this last one down as coincidence, but if it is from a bot, it is very much a courting gift declaring that they want her to know who they are.

She knows the fiftieth one is the large gift for the courting. Every fiftieth one, if they are going to keep going, is significantly larger than the ones that came before it.

Now she just needs to work up the courage to open it.

The wrapping paper comes off easily, and the box inside reveals a dozen smaller boxes, all individually wrapped and labeled. Her eyes widen at the foreign languages on the boxes. She _recognizes_ some of the logos and company names. They're all places that make exclusive, expensive candies. There's a box of truffles that easily costs _her_ entire allowance for a full year. Next to it is a box of candy that has been dipped in edible gold leaf, which the Allspark is quite gleeful about-insisting that the metal will taste even better to her techno-organic tongue than it would to a human. Other candies sit in the boxes beneath, but what really shocks her is the smallest box.

When she opens it, there are tiny energon candy figures inside, sculpted out of various colors and kinds of energon sweets. There's a little Bumblebee with bright blue crystal eyes, and a Prowl who is posed in the candy arms of a Lockdown. There are also little seekers with fragile, delicate spun-crystal wings. The Sunstorm colored one has his servo linked with Bumblebee's.

She moves all of them to the desk, taking care not to break any of them, and sits down to look at them closely. All of the bots are with their significant other, the Optimus and Ultra actually have the tiny bonding paint in the correct shades of red, Blurr is cuddling against Bulkhead, and Arcee looks smug as frag as she holds Ratchet possessively. The only things she can conclude from this, is that the gifts were clearly from a bot, and that Bee is dating Sunstorm.

She's not exactly sure how she feels about that.

Well, about the Bee and Sunstorm thing, the knowing it is from a bot isn't really that surprising. She'll figure out who the bot is soon enough, since it is tradition to show off who you are later on.

She stares at the Bee and Sunstorm figures and prods at the Allspark for answers and just gets a shrug.

The Allspark _knows_ and is unwilling to share the information with her.

The tiny sculpted Megatron catches her interest, and she picks it up to study it. It's got more detail than the rest of them, probably because it's _larger_ than the rest, even the seekers. She stares at it for a klik while the Allspark makes appreciative sounds-slagging thing has a crush on Megatron, she swears it-and then Sari snaps off one of the little energon servos and pops it in her mouth, expecting it to taste disgusting.

It's actually really, really good. Really good even with the Allspark screeching at her for having broken the delicious figurine apart.

Had she mentioned the Allspark's crush on Megatron?

She licks her lips, and carefully puts the figurines away, leaving out the Megatron one. She's kinda amused at his slightly sad expression. Allspark says it is a look of longing, but she knows it is the figurine being sad about being slowly taken apart and eaten. It is clearly so sad because she is going to make it slow to draw out the deliciousness.

She's going to have to go ask Bulkhead to share _his_ candy if it all tastes like this, but judging by the quality of the other candy, she's going to have to assume this stuff is insanely expensive and good. She'll share with the guys, and have them tell her. She's kinda sad that there is only figu- She pauses that thought, looking through the box. "Score!" Under the box that the candy figurines came in, there is a box of just _cubes_ of the candy.

She will share _that_.

It tastes _so good_. And she still has all the human candy to enjoy that the bots can't eat without getting all tank-purgy about it later on. A very excellent gift, even if she's starting to think the suitor really _is_ a Decepticon. Or even worse, a bot like Swindle or Lockdown.

She shudders and carefully puts the candies away, where no one will get into them. It'd suck to come back and discover that her dad had munched down a box of thousand dollar truffles because he was hungry and didn't realize that he'd grabbed those instead of the sandwiches and snacks she usually leaves laying out for him.

Picking up the energon candy, she heads off to see the guys.

When she gets there, Bee is sitting on the couch while Bulkhead has Blurr cuddled up on his lap. Walking in, she climbs onto the couch with Bee. "_So_!" They all turn to look at her, "Guess who knows she is officially being courted?"

Bulkhead straightens up, looking at her in surprise, "So you know it's from a bot, then? Any guesses who?"

"It's probably a Decepticon, and I know one bot that is is definitely not," she glares at Bee and whaps the side of his head with her hand. "What the frag were you doing, not telling me that you and Sunstorm were involved? Have you been sneaking off at night to frag him?"

Bulkhead's optics widen, "You're dating a seeker, Bumblebee?"

The minibot flushes and he stammers, "I . . I, yeah, I guess I am. You wanna make something of it?"

Bulkhead shakes his head rapidly, "No way. I mean, not as long as you're both willing and happy."

Bee rubs the back of his helmet, still intensely nervous, "Yeah. He's great. I really like him."

Sari nods, "Good." She looks over at Bulkhead, "I wanna try some of the energon candy you offered me before. I wanna test something."

The green bot blinks at her, "Really, Sari? You hated it before, thought it was rea-"

She waves a servo, "Yeah, I know, but I'm doing the manifesting thing now. Could I try it?"

He presses a piece into her open servo and she pops it in her mouth and immediately spits it back out. "Bleh. Still just as gross." She pulls out some of the energon candy that she'd been sent by her suitor. "Here, try this." She breaks off pieces for each of them and lets hers dissolve on her tongue, removing the nasty normal energon taste.

Bulkhead moans when he eats his, optics growing dim. "Oh. . .where did you get this? This is the best candy I've ever tasted, Sari."

Blurr's optics dim, "This... Sari, this is the candy you get at The World's End."

She gives the racecar a blank look, "Do bots have some odd time travel?"

Blurr shakes his head, "No, The World's End is a restaurant."

"Shouldn't that be Milliways and at the end of the Universe?" He gives her a blank look, and she waves a servo, "Referencing a book, don't worry about it. I imagine it didn't even have a talking cow that wanted you to eat it."

She's given another blank look, "No?"

"Right. But am I supposed to be impressed?" She eat another piece of candy and shares more with the bots, who are all giving her longing, desperate looks. "Greedy bots."

"Slag yeah, we're greedy for this," Bumblebee grins, tucking his extra piece away. Probably to give it to Sunstorm later. "The World's End takes like, over a decavorn to get into, and that's if you have the credits to pay for the waitlist fee. The fee that isn't anywhere close to the price you'll pay for fuel when you get there eventually, and is still more than most bots make in _two_ decavorns."

She taps the box, "So you think this guy bought it from the restaurant?" If the bot did, she's most likely not going to get more of it, and it _really_ narrows it down to basically Ultra, Megatron, and Swindle. Since the only other bots with that much money wouldn't have to hide who they are.

Blurr shrugs, "You have Oil Slick here. He can make it." She frowns and he continues, "But he doesn't do it a lot, and wouldn't be anyway. He's not the kind of bot to make candy much. I'd say buying from The World's End would be your best bet."

She looks at the box unhappily, "Do you think Swindle is the one doing this?"

"Have all of your gifts been very expensive alien items from other planets?" When she shakes her head, Blurr continues, "Then it's probably not him. He's not big on earth things, as far as we can tell. You shouldn't worry." Blurr grins, "And remember, since this is a courtship, you aren't obligated to do anything at all, so if you dislike the suitor, you can turn them down and keep all the things they have given you. No loss on your side."

Sari nods, "I guess so." But she really likes how attentive the suitor has been to her needs. When she'd been sad about her jetpack getting damaged one day because it was going to take a week to repair it, the gift the next day had been a prototype jetpack from another company somewhere that had apparently been commissioned to make it for her basically overnight.

Bee pouts at her, "You have an _entire box_, you should share it."

She looks down at it for a little bit, "I'm not sure I'll be getting more, but here." She gives each of them one more, "I'm gonna go see if the others are up and about. If they're all too busy, then they don't get any."

Bee doesn't even look up as he makes tiny little happy sounds and eats the candy, while Blurr and Bulkhead wave at her before slowly feeding each other tiny little bits of the candy.

She peeks int the medical bay, and sees Red Alert muttering irritably by a medical berth as she goes through various datapads. Going over quietly, she puts her servos over the femme medic's optics, "Guess who."

"Is it my favorite little femme?" Red Alert coos, spinning around to pick Sari up and cuddle her. "Hello little femme. How are you today?" Claws tickle her sparkplate seams, and Sari squirms a little.

"I'm good. Brought you some candy." She holds out a piece. "It's really good stuff."

Red Alert opens her mouth and Sari pushes the candy inside, shivering a bit when Red Alert licks her fingers. The femme's optics dim, and she moans in pleasure as she sags into the medical berth. She's pulled even closer, and the larger bot runs claws along her seams, "Is this you telling me that you want another... spark exam?"

She shakes her head, pushing the servo away, "If we do that, I'm going to end up _marking_ you. We aren't going to do that. I just wanted you to try the candy I got from my suitor."

The medic raises an optic ridge, "So you know it _is_ a suitor? I had thought you were sure it was just a human sending you things."

"They sent me energon candy sculptures and this stuff," she waves the energon candy blocks. "No human could have made this. No human could have even _bought_ this." She licks energon residue from her own fingers, mostly unaware of the way Red Alert tracks the motion of her glossa. "It's really good, though. I hate normal energon. It never tastes right to me, and this stuff is just plain yummy. I want the suitor to come forward so I can ask where they got it and get some more."

Red runs a servo along her side, "I imagine they got it from The Wo-"

She nods, gently disentangling herself from the bot's grip, "The World's End, I know. Blurr said. He also said Oil Slick can make it."

The medic makes a very angry face, "_Oil Slick_ is a horrible bot, just like all the rest of the Decepticons."

She pats the medic's shoulder. "I never argued otherwise. He broke into a studio when I was doing an interview and seemed quite nasty. But that doesn't mean he can't make the candy. One of the Decepticons here on earth might have used his services to get this candy."

"If a bot were to use Oil Slick's 'services,' I hope they get an incurable virus from it," Red Alert huffs, crossing her arms over her chest. "And I hope it makes their spark itch for the rest of their lives."

She pats the medic gently on the side, "Does that mean you don't want more candy? Because I want to go check on Optimus or Ratchet to see if they want any."

Red Alert moves so she's laying on the berth, "You should feed it to me, since those two are with their bots. Just like Prowl is with Lockdown" She opens her mouth, wide and eager.

Pulling out a candy, she tears it up, and slowly feeds the pieces to the medic. "Is there anything else I need to know about today, or should I just stay with you?"

"I think you should stay with me," the medic hums, taking each little bit from her servos with special attention, curling her glossa around Sari's fingers. "We can . . . enjoy a bit of time together. You must be sorely lacking femme companionship here." Red Alert rests a servo on Sari's thigh. "We can discuss femme things."

Sari snorts, "Trust me. I think I get enough of that from the Allspark. It likes to tell me how to properly chain a mech to my berth."

The claws draw along her skirt, "There are _many_ ways to chain up a mech. The only improper way is in a way he can _escape_."

She gently pushes the servo away, as nice as it feels, she knows that she'll end up losing control and marking Red up. Better not to let her start at all. "It has favorite positions, and insists on telling me. I'm not really needing to talk about this." She moves the servo again, "And if you keep doing that, I stop feeding you."

Especially since the Allspark's favorite chaining positions involve a mech bent over an altar with his sparkplates removed. She wonders if the Allspark has any way of making a body for itself, because she'd rather it go and perv on various bots by itself, rather than make her imagine doing it for it.

The Allspark sends her an image of a hologram bot waving its servo straight through the frame of another bot. She tells it that it's just not trying hard enough.

It huffs at her irritably, and she returns her attention to Red Alert. The femme is nibbling her fingers with dim optics, "You should open up, Sari."

She frowns, "No. I'm going to _leave_ if you keep doing this. Are you acting like this because you don't have a bot? I can have Slipstream come over or something. They do have Allspark shards in them, and the Allspark keeps telling me how wonderful it would be to have them show up. Maybe you'd like one of them."

Red Alert glares. "That's the femme who wants my twins? No. I don't want to see her at all." She pauses, and then smiles wickedly, "On second thought, send her on over. I'll be happy to do a little 'code fixing' for her." She rubs her servos together. "Oh, I'll fix her code up nice and tight and remove any desire to interface my sweet little twins."

Sari is pretty sure the twins would be ecstatic if they had the chance to interface with a seeker femme. "Yeah. Let's not do that."

Red pouts at her, "Why not?"

She pats the medic softly, "Because the Allspark loves them a very great deal, and doing that won't help. It is more likely to get you cursed than it is to do anything else." She moves so Red Alert isn't practically in her lap, "But really, stop trying to get me to 'face you. You can go do things on your own, or find another bot. I don't want to mark you."

Sighing, the medic climbs off the berth. "Alright. I suppose I should finish working with these datapads."

Sari nods, "Cool. Well, I'm gonna head out for a bit. Maybe take a walk in the park or something, because I've been cooped up inside all day long." It'd be nice to sit somewhere quiet for a while and maybe throw some bread crumbs at the ducks. They always fought over who gets the most of them, and she finds it deeply amusing.

Red gives her a disappointed look, "You go have fun, Sari."

She waves and heads off, making her way to the park. She's wondering if she should brave the grocery store or head home to get the bread when she's snatched out of the air. Large claws hold her tightly, and she starts to curse, "We're in a fragging ceasefire! You can't do this!"

There's a high-pitched snort, and Starscream says, "That's nice, Priestess. If you haven't noticed, I do what I like."

She curses and starts to charge up her servos for an attack, and the Allspark suddenly decides to be the biggest motherfragger in the world by denying her the energy for an attack. Until he made a threatening move, it wasn't going to let her fry him like the giant space-chicken he was. "Put me down you fragger!" She struggles harder as they break the atmosphere, and she's extremely happy that her armor is strong enough now to withstand the heat of it.

She's screaming and ranting the entire way to the moon, and Starscream lands gracefully on the Nemesis, rolling his optics at her in exasperation. "You think I'm a slagger, yes, yes. Whatever." He sets her down on a counter, moving so they are face to face, "The one that hurt the most was when you called me a kite. Don't do that."

She glares at him, "I only used the names the Allspark gave me. If that's what works, it works."

One of his claws pet her side, a very gentle and loving gesture that is more than slightly unnerving. "You are _very_ nice looking so close up. No wonder Megatron has been courting you."

What? "What?" Sari struggles away from him. "What the slag are you talking about? Megatron hasn't-"

But it would make sense. Terrible sense, really. He had access to all the things she'd been given, was close enough to her to know private things or be able to discover them, and had access to both the World's End and Oil Slick for that final gift. It would also explain why he'd been trying not to attack bots or destroy humans recently. "Slag. He _has_ been after me."

Starscream smirks, "He thinks he's been keeping it secret, but _all_ of the seekers know." His claws are back on her frame, very gentle and caressing, "Which brings me to what I wanted to talk to you about, lit-_Sari_." The tip of his claw darts to her sparkplates only to leave just as quickly, "You need a consort, correct? Your energy to encourage bots to love you is leaking all the frag over. You can't even go out of the building on the ground floor without fear of being pulled into a kiss."

She nods reluctantly, "Yeah. So?"

His optics dim, "This is where I come in. You see, there is the easiest solution looking at you right now." He touches her headfins, brushing them in a way that has her optics flickering, "I would love to be your first consort."

Sari shakes her head, stepping out of reach. "No slagging way. I'm not taking a consort yet, and I'm certainly not taking you."

Starscream flutters his wings, and her spark _throbs_ suddenly, her optics fixed on the delicate tremor that runs up and down the length of each wing. The Allspark encourages her to try and make him react that way with her powers, because he's mimicking an overload right now, wings fluttering eagerly, like he can't wait to get under her and let her ride his spark. Or his Allspark fragment, in this case.

She looks up at his forehead, which is glowing faintly. "How would I even interface with you?"

He slides the plate on his head open, showing off the shard, "It is just like how you would a normal spark, only right here." He taps it softly before rubbing it with a single claw, "You can touch it if you want. I don't mind. In fact," he moves so he's even closer, shard right next to her, "I encourage it."

She moves away a step, rubbing her optics, "I..." She wants to tell him she isn't interested, but that's a _lie_. "I don't think I should. I have been turning down Red Alert, I don't think it would be a goo-"

Starscream flutters his wings again, "Red Alert is a femme and doesn't have a piece of the Allspark in her. You should claim me, and know that the mark would _insist_ I be loyal to you and only you."

She takes a single instinctive step forward before stopping. "I . . really don't think that's a wise idea. I barely know you." And seekers are gorgeous, but Starscream did not spend nearly two months courting her in secret like Megatron did.

Oh Primus, is she really thinking about making Megatron her First consort?

The thought of him on his knees to receive her mark makes her spark flare with impossible heat.

Yeah. She's certainly thinking about it.

She gently pushes Starscream away, reluctant to do so since he _is_ wonderful to look at. "I'm not taking you as first consort, Starscream." Second consort, maybe, but not _first_.

The seeker moves a little closer, dimming his optics in the hottest way possible, "Are you sure? I'd be wonderful for you. I'm sure the Allspark has been telling you to use my seekers for the consort. Why have copies when you can have the original?"

She looks down and away, "Because it also insisted that Wreck Gar and Dirtboss were great for consorts. One is too young, and the other disgusts me."

Claws rub her frame, "I am _much_ older, Sari, and I don't disgust you, do I?" His wings flutter, and her spark pulses at the sight of it. He gives her a look at is practically begging her to demand he lay down so she can use his spark.

And his spark fragment is so close to his mouth that it'd be really easy to swap between grinding against his shard and ordering him to use his glossa.

No. It was still a terrible idea. "Frag off, Screamer. I don't want any consorts at all right now." She perks up, "And I can't accept you anyways until my suitor has publicly announced himself. You know the rules."

Starscream scowls. "Those are ancient rules and they don't apply if you have figured him out, even after the gifting has concluded. You could still take me as a consort."

She shakes her head, "I wouldn't know it was Megatron if you hadn't told me. I was thinking it was Swindle or Lockdown or something."

He snorts, "Really? Those were your guesses? You'd have stumbled on Megatron in a sol or two with his next few gifts." He moves a tiny bit to nuzzle against her, "You could just milk him for gifts now, you know. Just keep taking the gifts and plan on _me_." He flickers his optics prettily, "I'd be perfect, and you know it."

"You would be perfect as a _second_ consort," Sari corrects him. And then maybe she'd take another clone as a third and they could have the seekers interface for them. Mm. She likes that idea a lot.

And the seekers would be all hissy about it, but they would kiss as commanded, and writhe together and flutter their pretty wings as they overloaded in a messy pile of seeker parts.

Starscream scoffs, "I would never settle for being second."

She rubs his helmet gently, pushing the plate back over his shard, "You wouldn't, would you? What about all that time with Megatron?"

The seeker moves slightly, catching her servo in his mouth and sucking on it with dim optics before letting her go, "And I tried to offline him. I think that says a lot."

She pets him, moving close to play with his helmet vents, "It says that if I put you on equal footing with me, you're going to try to kill me."

He snorts, "The marks will _ensure_ my loyalty." He rubs his forehead plate against her, "Make me your consort, Sari. You can make Megatron your second."

"I think that _I_ would be a far superior consort," Thundercracker screeches, coming up behind them. "How dare you try and steal such a spot from _me_, you inferior copy!"

Sari has never been more relieved to be interrupted by one of the horrible clones. "I dunno, Thundercracker. You're kind of a jerk. I'm not really fond of douchewaffles in my bed, you know?"

The bot blinks. "I don't know what a waffle is."

She rubs her head, "Not important." She waves a servo, "I'm just not going to have you as a consort. I'm not interested in yo-"

There's a screech behind her that makes her wince, "Why do _you_ get to be consort? Eveyone else gets things, it isn't fair!"

Oh, Primus, that's Thrust. Why is he even here?

Turning around, she leans against Starscream, who holds her protectively, "I said he's _not_ going to be consort." And neither is the envious clone.

Skywarp peeks out from behind the edge of the door, peering into the room with wide, frightened optics, "I . . I wouldn't mind being a consort as long as being a consort isn't sc-scary. Is it scary?"

Starscream smiles wickedly, "It is terrifying. You wouldn't like it at all." His wings arch up and back-a gesture the Allspark informs her is one seeker attempting dominance over another. When Skywarp's wings fold back and down, it lets her know that the cowardly seeker has accepted his position beneath Starscream in the flock. Seeker flock politics are weird.

There's a snort from the doorway, and Slipstream struts in, wings held high and very clearly thinking she's in charge. "I should be the consort." Sari can't help it, she _laughs_, almost falling over in her gigglefit. The femme seeker huffs, "I don't see what's so funny about this!"

Starscream rolls his optics, "You're a _femme_. The most you could hope for is a much _later_ consort position. You would fight her to lead, and generally not be any help."

Slipstream raises her wings threateningly, "You don't know that!"

Sari manages to force her giggles down, waving a servo, "If I wanted a femme, I would already have Red Alert."

"She is a very pretty femme," Slipstream admits easily. "Though her twins are far more delicious." Slipstream struts closer to them, hips swaying hypnotically. "Could I have a blessing in my hunt for them? I think we'd get along quite wonderfully."

Sari taps her fingers against her forearm. "How about . . . no. Yeah, I'm not blessing your kidnapping of innocent bots. Especially ones that are all infected with crazy aft seeker coding. They'd listen to you even if it was something _stupid_."

She flutters her wings, "But I can't _find_ them. They were supposed to come when the Magnus came visiting."

Sari waves a servo dismissively, "I told them to stay away from you, and Autobots listen to _me_." She raises her false wings high at the Allspark's prompting, and is... rewarded? By Slipstream hissing angrily, but lowering her wings and stomping off. Looking after the femme, she mutters, "What was that about?"

Starscream is looking at her with dim, lust filled optics, "You're wonderful, Priestess." A claw runs along her tiny fake wings, "It looks like these aren't just for show."

Pleasure sparks along her sensors and she pulls the faux-wing out of his grasp. "Servos off, seeker. I'm not in the mood for this kind of teasing right now."

One more of the seekers is staring at her now, his wings held in a carefully neutral position. The white and burgundy clone ducks his head when he sees that she's noticed his staring. "I certainly don't want to be your consort, Priestess. Not when we know each other so very well."

Well, she supposes that decides which of the clones she'll be taking with Starscream.

She's debating saying that when there's a scream of, "Mine!" and a seeker jumping at her, only to get smacked to the wall.

Starscream glares down at the bot, "Fragger. You're not _worthy_ of being her consort. You're lucky that I even got you away from Swindle with Thrust."

There's angry mumbling from the floor, and then the sound of heels from the doorway again. Sunstorm steps in, shined up incredibly nice, and saying, "I would be honored if the wonderful Priestess Sari would take me her humble consort."

She gives the bot a blank look before crossing her arms and glaring, "_You_ are with Bumblebee. Frag you."

The bot pauses, "Then you could make Bumblebee a consort as well? He would look very good underneath you." The seeker lets his gaze slide over her frame. "All those shades of yellow entwined in passion. Oh, yes. The three of us would make a sight that no bot could help but admire."

Covering her face with her hand, Sari just sighs. "I am not going to pick a consort based on _colors_. I am _not_ a seeker."

The other seeker except for Starscream are looking at Sunstorm, and Skywarp says softly, "You... you're with the _minibot_, and you didn't _tell_ us?"

Sunstorm's expression blanks before smiling widely, and starting to back out of the room as the other seekers, except for Starscream and Ramjet - Sari having grabbed the bot by the wing quietly - follow him. "Well, I just thought you wonderful bots wouldn't want to know about _my_ Bee. He couldn't match your wonderful color schemes, you see." As the seekers continue following them out, there's a sudden screech from Sunstorm as he scratches one of the others that get too close, and the door closes behind them.

Sari pets Ramjet's head, "You both want to be consorts, huh?"

Ramjet shakes his head, "I don't want to be a consort at all. It would be a terrible life and I would absolutely hate having to interface with the other consorts."

Starscream narrows his optics at her. "I am not going to interface my clones for you, even if you take them."

She just smiles. If she takes Screamer as a consort, he will be licking spark shards when she commands it. The Allspark promises that it feels good and the seekers enjoy it, but they make a fuss so they won't be forced to do it all the time.

She moves so she's sitting on Ramjet's shoulder, petting him gently, and the lying seeker's engine purrs happily. "Don't pet my helmet vents, I _hate_ that."

She dims her optics, rubbing the vents, "I think I should be taken home now. You kept me long enough, and I need to think about a few things."

Starscream huffs at her, "And I don't even get a _kiss_?"

She considers telling him he's right, but she wouldn't mind kissing him. He _is_ very pretty. There's a soft purring from Ramjet, "I don't want a kiss, either."

She's about to kiss him when the roar of engines distracts her, and Megatron comes striding in through the open door. Starscream gets a panicked expression on his face and his wings lower instinctively, "Lord Megatron, I was not expecting-"

He's cut off by a fist to his face, and the traitorous seeker falls to the ground, knocked into temporary offline. Megatron holds out his other servo to Ramjet. "Return the Priestess at once." He gives Sari an apologetic look, "I am so sorry that my seekers have put you through this, Sari."

Ramjet looks torn, muttering unhappily, "I want to give her to you," while clutching her closer.

Rubbing a servo on the seeker's face, she nuzzles him. "It's fine, Ramjet. I'm not changing my mind, so you can just hand me to him."

Ramjet looks hurt, "But I got my kiss."

Megatron looks absolutely murderous, and she ignores him to press a tiny kiss to Ramjet's mouth. "There. Now you are one above everyone else on the moon. Aren't you happy?"

He flickers his optics at her, wings fluttering prettily, "Not at all."

The larger bot takes her away, and she's cradled against Megatron's chest. "Are you alright, Sari? Would you like to be taken to a medicbot?"

She rests a servo on his warm sparkplates, feeling the pulse of his spark beneath them. "I'm fine." She waits until they're up and out of the base to add, "Thanks for the gifts. I really liked all of them, and I _am_ considering your courtship offer."

He blinks at her in shock, "You..." He shakes his head, "You weren't supposed to find out so soon. Did Starscream inform you?"

She nods, curling against his plates, "He did. I would have found out on my own eventually."

The mech nods, petting her lovingly, "I was going to do three hundred and fifty days of gifts for you." He runs a finger along her frame, optics dim and loving, "I can still do that if you want. I will not pressure you into a relationship with me, Sari. I do not expect you to make me your consort."

She can almost hear the, "Right this moment."

She's certain that Megatron is planning on returning to the moon the moment she's returned to her father or to the Autobots, then beating the slag out of Starscream and Ramjet. To stave that off, she runs her servo over his sparkplates, fingers toying with his seams and looking up at him with dim optics, "Well, you're currently my top candidate. I was thinking about adding the seekers after you, if I choose you." And she most likely will choose him. He's been nothing but a gentleman.

Gentlebot.

Whatever.

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><p>Please Review<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

Transformers belongs to Hasbro

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><p>Sari enjoys the way his spark flares with heat against her, and she presses her fingers into his seams harder in response. "Of course, I'm not gonna bond with you at all if you keep fighting a war against my friends. That's not how this is gonna play out, got it?"<p>

Nodding, the larger bot curls a protective servo around her as he brings her down to the earth, shielding her from the heat of re-entry. "I had not planned on continuing the war if I obtained an equal position with you. It would not be necessary to force the Autobots with violence if I can ensure a successful society for my Decepticons by your side."

She leans on him with dim optics, soaking up his heat happily, "So the war will end if I bond with you?"

He hesitates, "Well, yes, but that should not be the reason you choose to bond with me. I was originally going to encourage that thought, but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted you to like me for _me_, rather than a means to an end. I have found that I do genuinely adore you, Sari. I don't expect you to feel the same, but I would like it if you'd let me continue to court you."

She hums softly, fingers playing with his seams, "The energon candy is the first I've ever had that wasn't gross. Did you buy it from The World's End, or did you make Oil Slick make it for you?"

"He volunteered to make it when I informed him who it was for, and Brimstone was quite pleased to be given the opportunity to sculpt it." His optics dim. "Would you like to come back to my base this evening? Brimstone and Oil Slick were both quite interested in meeting you without violence involved. Oil Slick wished to apologize for the attack on you." He doesn't mention Blackout at all, because he probably heard about her reaction to him.

Sari is hesitant to agree to this, but . . . if she does bond with him, and it stops the war, then it'd be good to meet the bots she'll be spending lots of time around. Diplomacy is important, even with giant Decepticons. "Yeah. That'd be nice."

Megatron's optics light up happily, "I'll be sure to inform everyone to be polite."

She offlines her optics, shaking her head, "Nah," she cuddles Megatron closely, "I want to know what they really think of me. See if I can stand to be around your troops. Think of it as a trial run."

He pets her back, "They wouldn't dare insult you to your face, Sari. It is them propositioning you that I'm worried about. Starscream trained his seekers well enough not to straight up say to you that they want to drop you on their berth."

She lifts up glowing servos, "I can handle myself. Anything happens that I don't like and I'll just give 'em a little bit of a zap to remind them that I'm not a harmless teensy toy bot."

Megatron only shakes his head in dismay, "That will only make them want you _more_, Sari. Decepticons find displays of strength and skill to be very . . intriguing. That is why Blitzwing wanted you so badly that sol and why . . .Blackout was even more interested after you proved you could fight them."

She sighs softly, "You know, _sensible_ people take that as a warning, not an invitation."

He dims his optics, chuckling softly in amusement, "Oil Slick had to rip out optics and cut off servos before bots took the hint. You just doing that small blast and cutting a bot open means you look all the more delicious."

She rolls her optics, "I'm still not thinking that's very smart."

His expression softens, "I know you don't, Sari. You were raised on Earth, then with Autobots. Decepticons are an entirely different culture."

"Decepticons are a very _strange_ culture with a lot of public interfacing," Sari corrects him. "You should know that I do not intend to interface in public with you." The Allspark makes sad little noises at her, which she completely and utterly ignores. "I have standards, and those involve no public sex."

Megatron looks just as disappointed as the Allspark sounds, "I see. I will keep that in mind. I don't intend to embarrass or upset you."

She yawns tiredly, his spark making her kinda sleepy from the wonderful warmth, "Good."

He holds her a little closer, "We're almost there, Sari. Would you like me to get you a cube of energon when we land?"

She makes a face, "Energon tastes so gross, though."

He smiles, "You liked the candy Oil Slick made. Would you be willing to try the energon I give you? It won't be the ... same type that the Autobots give you."

"It'll be yummy?" Sari wants to sleep against his chest every night if he is this warm and comfortable. Throw a blanket and some pillows down and she'll be good to go. "I've never had energon that didn't taste like everything gross blended together and dyed pink."

"I can promise it won't be what they've been offering you." Megatron strokes one of her metal pigtails cautiously. "I keep only the finest grades of energon here. They're the bases for most of Oil Slick's candies."

She hums happily as he rubs her headfin, sending pleasurable shocks down her back, "That sounds good." She looks up at the mech with dim optics, "Are we counting this as a date?"

He freezes, spark pulsing hot next to her, "If... if that's what you want, Sari."

She rubs his plates, "I would." She stands up cautiously, and he moves so both servos are holding her to make sure she doesn't fall. Resting both servos on his plates, she nuzzles against him, "You did a lot in the fifty sols of gifts."

He looks down at her, licking his lips before murmuring, "I was planning on doing far more on the next ones."

She presses a kiss to his sparkplates. "I appreciate the gifts you gave me. They were all very kind and thoughtful. You have a good spark under all of this armor." And a _hot_ one, one that keeps flashing even hotter, like an eager mini-sun under his plates.

Megatron groans a bit, and his servo tightens on her ever so slightly. "I . . am very glad that you liked them. It took quite a bit of work to find things that you would enjoy. Your culture is so very different from what I am used to."

She rubs her servo on his plates, pleased as it heats even more, "You did very well at figuring it out."

He makes a tiny sound, and she can hear him unlocking before forcing the plates locked again. "Thank you, S-Sari."

She hadn't realized she was getting him _that_ hot. She ignores the Allspark's calls for her to use his spark, and returns to sitting in his servo. Leaning against him, she murmurs, "How much do you like me?"

He coughs into his free servo, spark pulsing hot and wanting against her, "A very great deal."

She rubs her fingers in the seams, "I need to take a consort soon, Megatron."

"I would not object to a partnership with you," Megatron rubs her seams in return. "I would not object to taking your mark this very evening if you so chose." He gazes down at her. "If your spark tells you that we are an ideal match, then we must trust that it is so. You have a better understanding of what bots will work out together than any other bot currently alive."

Her spark is telling her to push his plates open and cover him with her spark-blue marks. But the humans have a saying, basically boiling down to 'make sure you're making your decisions with the right head,' and she's not going to let her robot genital-soul-equivalent choose for her.

She leans her head on his plates, offlining her optics, "We'll see."

He holds her quietly for the rest of the way to the Decepticon base, petting her as they go. When he lands he stands for a moment before asking reluctantly, "Would you like to have me carry you, or would you like to go on your own?"

Normally she'd demand to be let go so she can do what she wants, but it feels _wonderful_ to be against Megatron's spark. "You'll let me go if I tell you to. Go ahead and carry me."

She doesn't care if it makes the Decepticons think she's his pet or something. She and he know better, and she's willing to back it up with her fists.

The Decepticons on base give her longing looks when Megatron carries her inside, and Oil Slick separates himself from Blitzwing's side to come over. He drops to one knee, very noble-like, and says, "I would ask that you forgive myself and Blackout for our attack. We were not aware that Lord Megatron had intended a ceasefire."

She looks down at him, "It's fine." She curls against Megatron, warm and comfortable, "You stopped before anyone could get hurt."

The cyclebot unfolds from the kneeling, "Blackout wanted me to apologize for him as well. Both for doing that, and for not being ... able to say so in person."

She nods, "It's fine. I don't mind." She drops her head against Megatron's sparkplates, optics dim, "It may be best I didn't see him, anyway." Her spark pulses at the thought of the hot mech, and she glares down at her chest.

Megatron rubs a soothing servo over her, and sends her a ping for her private frequency.

She gives it to him, and he sends a message over, /_The urges will fade after you take a proper consort. You won't spend your sol trying to calm your spark all the time_./

She finds that very reassuring and kisses his sparkplates, which solicits little gasps from the surrounding Decepticons. Sari flushes a bit, but the armor she snaps closed over her face helps hide it. /_Thanks for the info_./

He kisses the top of her head, "I think that a tour is going to be needed." Megatron pushes Oil Slick along with them with one servo, "The labs first."

Sari is highly amused to see the outraged look from Blitzwing, but feels a tiny bit guilty when the Allspark whispers how the triple-changer has been courting Oil Slick for vorns and vorns, only now being allowed near the cycle bot. Tapping Megatron softly, she murmurs, "How about Blitzwing joins us?"

Megatron pauses, glancing over at the mech, and nodding reluctantly, "Blitzwing. Come with us, please."

She wonders why Megatron is so unhappy about it when the Allspark gleefully points out how _all_ of the bots she's been actually interested in without them touching her spark were _huge_. Blitzwing fits that trend.

_I/'m not interested in him_,/ she sends to Megatron, reassuring him with gentle servos on his sparkplates. /_He just looked like he wanted to spend more time with Oil Slick_./ She cuddles against him, and his spark flashes with heat, warming her entire frame. It's going to be _so_ good when she finally gets a chance to test it out.

Oil Slick looks up at her with some measure of appreciation. "I am not sure how well you know our base, Priestess, but I am glad to escort you, and Blitzwing will be more versed in the military areas than I."

She _really_ doesn't care about that. She's not a military leader, and leaves that sort of nonsense to Optimus. "If you say so."

The triple-changer moves over to them, carefully not looking at her as he say, "I would like to apologize for my behavior, Priestess. I was not zinking as I kissed you."

She feels the angry growl from Megatron more than she hears it, and she gets the definite impression that the poor triple-changer got punished very harshly for daring to touch her like that. "It's fine. It helped me realize that I have been leaking Allspark energy all over."

"Ja, but I am still sorry." He rubs his sparkplates absently. "Oil Zlick was not happy at all zat I had done zis to you. He can be a very jealous bot."

Oil Slick buffs his claws against his chest just as absentmindendly, "I do not know what you are talking about, Blitzwing. I have always been the very picture of ninjabot peace and tolerance."

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that Oil Slick had gouged Blitzwing's plates for kissing Sari. Of course, if he'd been with Blitzwing at the time, she's sure he would have done the same thing to her and they'd have ended up 'facing while thinking about her rather than fighting.

She leans against Megatron, optics offline to better focus on the warmth, and the large mech chuckles softly, "That reminds me, when was the last time you meditated, Oil Slick? I thought you wanted to learn Processor over Matter, and from what I can tell, Earth is the best place to do that."

The ninjabot looks irritated, but covers it up quickly, "I did just this morning. It would be easier if I could find another ninjabot, but Lockdown has been off harassing Prowl every time I try to contact him."

Sari blinks, her optics flashing back online, "Lockdown still does ninjabot things?"

Oil Slick frowns, "Only when I force him to, but yes, he does."

"Prowl's tried to teach me and Bee some of the stuff he does, but he's had pretty limited success." Sari makes a face of disgust, "I can't stand sitting around and meditating for long. It's so slagging boring."

The cyclebot slides forward gracefully, avoiding the grabby servos of his lover, "I understand. You are the Priestess. Stillness would not come naturally to a bot whose very spark demands motion and action. I can't imagine that a minibot would be much better at it."

She cuddles aagainst Megatron, and the mech holds her just a little closer, "Maybe you can meditate with Jazz or Prowl. They meditate."

The cyclebot snorts, "And they are _Autobots_." The bot waves a servo, "Not to mention Prowl despises me. I wouldn't say no to Jazz, however. He's not absolutely intolerable. You'd think the carbot was doping up on purple cora from how mellow he is."

Sari gives him a blank look, and Megatron pets her, "Purple cora is a particular strain of a species of crystal. It calms you immensely. Mostly, it is used to stop hysterics or to have a sparkling settle down for recharge. Jazz acts like a bot that has it lined in his spark chamber."

"Oh. Yeah. I always thought he might be doing something like that. I mean, there's no way he's that calm all the time. And I mean, is he like that in the berth? Because if he is, that's gotta be a really boring frag, and-" she trails off, realizing she's gossiping about how a bot might be in the bedroom.

Slag. What has her life turned into? Bot puberty is apparently the worst thing in the whole freaking world.

"If you want to know how he is in the berth, I suggest you ask that blue Prime, or the Magnus. I'm sure they've both had a shot at his aft." Oil Slick smirks, "You'd think that red painted arrow ought to be on his back with how often his aft must have been groped."

She shakes her head, "No, Ultra never 'faced Jazz. He was too busy panting after Optimus. That's why they're bonded now."

Blitzwing gives her a considering look, "And Zentinal?"

She makes a face, "Why the frag would I want to think about _him_ and 'facing? Are you trying to make me purge?"

Megatron chuckles softly, "Did you know that Thundercracker was plotting on 'facing him when he shows up on Earth again?"

She shrugs, "The Allspark gives me random updates about the seekers a lot, but it is never anything beyond, 'one of the seekers thinks a bot is hot, maybe we should do something. Oh wait, nevermind. They did it on their own.' It isn't really something I pay attention to."

"Yes, I suppose a seeker wouldn't need help cornering their quarry." Megatron placed Sari on top of a table when they finally reached the labs. The labs were pretty big, and it was obvious this one was meant for Oil Slick, because there was quite a lot of furniture sized for him, rather than the heaping giant rest of the Decepticons.

A tiny cyclebot, even smaller than Prowl peeks out from behind a cabinet. "Hey, bossbot, you're back and-" his optics go wide, and his strange mouth opens in shock. "Holy slag, you brought the Priestess with you. And Lord Megatron." He wiggles his tiny fingers at the large mech, "Hello, Lord Megatron."

She wonders if the bot _tries_ to be so cute.

Megatron smiles, "Hello, Brimstone." He turns to her, "Sari, this is Brimstone, he's the one that sculpted the energon candy for you."

She smiles, waving at him, "I loved them! They're really wonderfully done." She shivers, frame already missing Megatron's warmth, "I loved how all of the couples were correct. You even got Bulkhead and Blurr even when they only just hooked up a sol ago."

The tiny bot rubs the back of his head, and she blinks at the _four_ elbows he has. "Thank you, Priestess. I tried my hardest for you."

She lifts her servos, letting them glow faintly blue, "You want any kind of blessing? I'm new at this, so I'm not sure how effective it'll be, but I'm willing to give it a shot as a thank you." She grins, "Megatron's figure was the tastiest."

Megatron coughs into his servo, "You . . ate them?"

"Slag yeah I ate them." Well, she'd eaten _some_ of them. The whole point of candy is to _eat_ it.

Well, maybe she'd _only_ eaten Megatron's. But she wasn't gonna tell him that.

Megatron looks horribly confused, but Brimstone is delighted, "You did? That's great! So many bots just try to keep them! I make them to be _eaten_! If I didn't want them to be, I'd make things out of an easier to sculpt material."

She beams, "I know! That's why you buy candy like that! To _eat_. You don't get a cake shaped like a penguin just to stare at. You _eat_ it."

Megatron picks her up off the table and holds her close to his chest. "Should I be flattered that you ate my figurine?" He rubs a single finger over her sparkplates, and it's large enough to completely cover them, hiding her sparkpaint from view.

Uh-oh, it seemed Megatron was a little jealous at her camaraderie with Brimstone. "You were a very yummy figurine. I think there must have been five or six different candies making your frame up, and each one was sweet and delicious." Even the tiny blue spark that she'd found inside that made her glossa tingle with whatever the ingredients were.

He seems much happier at that, looking like he wants to do _something_, but she isn't sure what. "Was there anything else you wanted to add, Brimstone?"

The bot looks from her to Megatron, and showing a great deal of sense, shakes his head. Sari, however, isn't going to put up with that, "I still need to bless him. I wanna do that then see more of the labs." She looks over at him, "Most of my blessings end up with sparklings, but I have a few that will help you get a bot that's being stupidly stubborn about you wanting them." The mech perks up, and she raises a servo, "If the bot _really_ isn't interested, it won't work. Like Oil Slick here, he _really_ isn't that interested in a femme unless he knows her _really_ well. If some random femme wanted a blessing to snag him, she'd still get rejected. It stops it from being a rape, and is more of an... encouragement to see your side. If the bot says no, they really do mean no, and you should probably stop trying."

Brimstone nods, "But if they're just being stubborn or think I'm better off without them because they get a lot of viruses and glitch a lot, then they'll give me a chance with the blessing?"

Sari frowns, "You want a bot who's constantly glitching and virus-filled? Why doesn't he see a medic about that and get some better firewalls?"

Frowning back, Brimstone crosses his arms over his chest. "It's not his fault. He does see his medic, and his systems just keep rejecting the firewalls. But I'm willing to upgrade my own software if I can get a shot at him."

She frowns, the Allspark whispering in her processor, and she isn't liking what it is saying _at all_. "I want to meet Bludgeon."

Brimstone blinks at her, "How did you kn- ... right. Priestess." He looks at the floor, "He's uh, he's in the datapad room. Should I go get him?"

She curls up against Megatron, "I want to go there with you. All of us should."

Megatron blinks down at her, "Very well, Sari." He starts to walk, the other bots following quickly, "Is there any reason you want us to go? This _is_ a glitch that happens every so often."

"The Allspark doesn't agree," she says quietly, and Megatron holds her closer. "It has reason to suspect that he's being abused. I just want to check it out."

"If he is suffering abuse at the servos of my soldiers, I will gladly support any and all endeavors to wipe them clean. I do not tolerate abuse in my ranks." And the Allspark whispers how true that is, and how Megatron does not tolerate sparkrape or physical abuse of bots who are not deliberately provoking it, like Starscream often does. The Allspark also whispers that it's certain that Starscream is a bit of a masochist.

She curls against him, optics offline, "I know."

He pets her frame, large spark a soothing blanket of warmth along her frame, "If this is true, will you be able to point out the abusers?"

She shrugs, "I don't know. Maybe? I need to see if I can heal him up first. Allspark says I'll need to eat something before I do, and I don't have anything with me."

Megatron nods, "Would you like energon candy? If needed, I can send someone out to get you human food. I have no trouble with that."

She frowns, "I could try the energon you wanted to see if I could drink."

The mech nods, "I was planning it on being for the meal before taking you home, but if that's what you want, I will ge-"

She puts a servo to his lips, standing up precariously before pressing a kiss to his lips, "I'll try it with you before I go." She nuzzles him softly, murmuring so he will only barely hear her, "If I do go, that is. I may drink it with you before we go to the berth."

"I would like that," Megatron says, but his words are barely audible over the eager roar of his engine, and the burning heat of his spark sears her servos. She wants more. "Shall we get the energon now?" He gestures at several rooms as they pass, "Nearly every room in these halls can provide me with the energon I wish to share with you."

"Later," she repeats, because she's going to 'spill' her energon on him accidentally and then lick it all off with her glossa. Whether she does more than that with him is still up in the air, though.

He nods reluctantly, "Of course, Sari." His fingers play with her skirt, "But that still leaves what you will be fueling on."

She smiles, nuzzling into him, "The candy was _delicious_, and I know it will give me the en-" She cuts off in shock, blinking at Megratron with a dark blush on her face that she _can not_ hide, not even when her face mask snaps into place. The mech's fingers are under her skirt, and blatantly rubbing her crotch. "Y-you do realize wh-what you're doing, right?"

"Oh, yes, I understand quite well," Megatron purrs, rubbing a little harder. "I understand that if you were not in bot mode right now, you would be reacting very differently to this."

She still can't help but squirm, torn between shoving into the touches and away from them. She eventually settles on grabbing onto his fingers and shoving them away from her, "Not in public. I told you not in public, you pervert."

He smirks at her, optics dim and voice low, "I am willing to accept you no matter how you look, Sari. If you want to interface with me while you're human, I will be happy to."

She tucks her head against his chest, blushing furiously, "Pervbot. Old, old, _old_, pervbot." Her fingers rub against his sparkplate seams, "We do that _later_. I want to do that after dealing with Bludgeon, and after marking you as my consort." When he said something like _that_, how could she ever say no? A human wouldn't want to play with her spark, and none of the other bots would be willing to have sex with her.

If he was serious about being willing to frag her that way, she was gonna make sure he was really honest about that willingness.

Megatron dims his optics. "As you have said, I am a _very_ old bot. I am more willing to . . experiment than many younger bots might be. I quite enjoy it, really." A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. "You should ask Starscream about that strange organic plant on Kinmoku some time. He might not want to tell you, of course. He was rather embarrassed by how hard he overloaded."

She's pretty sure that it most likely _isn't_ what she's thinking, which is a very great deal of tentacles and a plant that tries to use electricity to drive away predators. A plant that bots would _only_ see as a 'facing toy if they could get over the organic part of it.

Nuzzling against the bot, she mumbles, "Pervbot."

Megatron just pets her back, looking incredibly smug. They eventually make it to the datapad storage, and the bot says, "Shall we go in, Sari? We can talk to Bludgeon and see what's going on." At her nod, he steps in.

The tankbot is standing in front of a desk blankly, one servo holding a datapad, and the other on his sparkplates. Sari frowns, "His spark hurts. Put him so he's laying on the desk, and I need to talk to him as he's snapping out of the memory wipe." Oil Slick and Blitzwing carefully lay the bot on the desk, pushing datapads out of the way. She sits beside him and rests a servo on his arm. "Do you remember anything at all, Bludgeon? Maybe a name or face of whatever bot was just with you?"

The bot turns his head and there's a bit of optical lubricant leaking from his optics. "I . . I'm sorry, who are you? Why are you . . ," he tries to sit up, and he's gently pushed back down. "I'm . . I think I just glitched. I'm sorry. Who are you?" he smiles, and then looks over, his white skeleton-like face blanching even whiter, "Oh, Lord Megatron! I'm . . I'm sorry, did you request a datapad? I'm . . I must have forgotten."

Sari moves so she's back in his line of sight, "You're not in trouble, and you didn't forget a datapad." She pets his skull-like face, "I'm Sari, and I'm here to fix you. I want to ask you a question, and I need you to be honest." He nods slowly, and she continues, "These glitches, do they happen even when you're with the medic?"

He frowns, optic ridges furrowing, "Sometimes? What does this have to do with anyth-"

She puts a servo on his mouth, and turns to Megatron, "His medic is going to have to be searched and scanned to see about abuse. Look through normally hidden areas of a subspace to look for datapads." She turns back to Bludgeon, "Will you open your plates, please?"

He gives her a shocked look, moving his clawed servos over his plates to hide them, "I... I couldn't! No! I'm not a-"

She sighs, "I'm the High Priestess of the Allspark. Your spark hurts, and your memory is all sorts of fragged up. How about I fix that?"

The bot trembles, still covering his sparkplates. It's an instinctive reaction-he probably hasn't had many positive experiences with bots telling him to open up for them. "I," his optics dart to Megatron and the other bots, "do I have to do it now? I know I have felt worse than this before. Could you do it later?" _When I'm alone_ isn't said, but she can hear it nonetheless.

She's not going to let him suffer for something like this. "C'mon. Open up. They won't talk about this with _anyone_, right?" She shoots the bots a look that promises retribution if they do.

Megatron raises an optic ridge, "I will need records of damage so I can be certain how bad it is. The worst it will be used for is to convince me how badly I failed him, and how much the bots that did it needed the punishment I give."

Oil Slick rolls his optics, "I can't refuse if Strika insists, but she's not gonna spread it around."

Blitzwing isn't even looking, instead he's looking at datapads on the other side of the room. Brimstone is peeking over the desk nervously, "I wanna know how badly he's hurt. If it's too bad, I'll get to know _why_ he kept telling me no when I asked him on dates."

The bot curls up on himself a little, before sitting up as straight as possible. "I said no because I have an ugly spark. It's not even the right color when it's healthy, and right now it's hurting a lot."

Sari rubs a servo over his forearm. "It's not ugly. It's normal. Albeit, it's pretty rare for sparks to deviate in color, but there's nothing unusual or ugly about it at all. Now please show us so I can help you feel better."

Bludgeon's servos curl into fists at his sides and his sparkplates open with a strange sort of creaking noise-his locks are broken and some of the gears to retract his plates aren't working properly, so he can only open halfway before he has to reach up and manually separate them the rest of the way.

His spark is naturally a very red sort of purple, so when she sees it is a very dark blue purple, she is not the least bit happy. Glaring at it, she hisses angrily. He flinches at the sound, and she reaches over to pat his head, "You're fine, sweetie. I'm not angry at _you_." She snaps her fingers at Oil Slick, "Cough up the candy, bitch tits, I need the energy for this."

Oil Slick looks utterly bewildered as he hands her a box from his subspace, "Bitch... tits? What? What does that mean?"

She ignores him, taking a bite of the candy happily. "You need to fuel up, Bludgeon. And today is your lucky day! Megatron's going to feed you so he doesn't get all sulky that I'm looking at your spark instead of his." She pats the desk next to her, "Isn't that right, Megatron?"

"Yes, Sari," Megatron says obediently, his tone amused. He goes to the energon dispenser on the wall and keys in his personal codes to convince it to give them the best energon available, rather than the standard fare it normally dispenses. Laden with cubes, he approaches them, setting them out for the other bots in the room to enjoy as well. "Here you go, Sari," he holds her cube for her, and she leans in to take a sip from it. It's not as good as the candy, but she could definitely drink it every day if she had to.

Drinking enough that she's feeling really too full, since the Allspark keeps hassling her about needing the _entire cube_, she pushes the three fourths full cube away so she won't accidentally spill it. Rubbing her servos together, they crackle with energy and then she dips them in the cube Megatron is starting to feed to Bludgeon, "That's what he needs as I do this." She leaves the energon on her servos, the Allspark whispering to her something about making it a better conductor as she starts to touch the mech's spark.

The mech's startled cry is muffled by the cube of energon that Megatron is making the bot drink, and Sari starts to pour energy into his damaged spark. It's hard work, because she has to make sure he doesn't overload during this, or she'll have to start all over again as the spark discharges all the energy she just pumped into it.

Megatron watches curiously, "I have never witnessed a Priestess work in such a manner. I had not expected seeing the use of your powers to be so . . . intimate." /_Slagging hot/_ he sends in a quick message, and it makes her smile through the concentration of working on Bludgeon's spark. "You have a very strong connection to your powers at so very young an age."

She laughs softly, "Mama Allspark isn't gonna let her sparkling go insane. Not when she put so much work into making a techno-organic with a human she thought was so _very_ fascinating."

Megaton pours a little more energon in Bludgeon's mouth, letting him drink it, "Mama Allspark? What an oddly suiting title."

She works on shuffling the energy carefully, "Allspark isn't that fond of it, but it isn't getting _papa_ Allspark. I already got a dad, and humans don't normally have two of them. So Allspark gets to be mama." She moves her shoulders, trying to get the energy in better, "Even if the stupid hologram thing it uses looks more like a mech than anything."

"It has a hologram?" Megatron reaches over to slide a finger up under her skirt again, rubbing the inside of her thighs. "What does this hologram look like?" She sends the file and whaps at his servo with her hand before moving it back to Bludgeon's spark.

"It looks like a mech. Sorta." It also doesn't really look like it has a gender, since it's made of lots of different parts all melded together. And she's pretty sure it still pervs on her dad sometimes, since he really ought to be showing signs of aging more than he is. He looks _way_ young for his age.

Megatron blinks at her, "I suppose so." He moves so he's behind her, looking over her shoulder with interest, "Is there anything else I can do to help?"

She bites her lower lip, "I need more fuel, this is tiring."

He takes the cube, putting it in front of her head and letting her take sips. "Is this better, Sari?" His fingers ghost along her frame, "I want you to be well."

She glares at him, "The more you grope at me, the harder this is. When we have this all fixed, you can touch me as much as you want."

"I intend to make you keep that promise," he murmurs, and then backs away, letting her do her work.

She pours more energy in, and the spark is nearly normal colored now, a rich reddish purple that is pulsing softly. Sari withdraws her servos with triumph, and then abruptly offlines.

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><p>Please Review<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

Last chapter! The porn in this has been yanked out at the end. Check on livejournal or tumblr which are linked in my profile as always :V

Transformers belongs to Hasbro

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><p>She has no idea how much later it is when she wakes up, but she's in human form, being petted by Megatron on his lap. She opens her eyes and looks up at him, and he's giving some kind of speech to his Decepticons. Sari snuggles up to him. He's so fragging warm and comfy.<p>

When he's finished, he smiles down at her, "You're onli- awake. Are you feeling better?"

She nods, reluctantly pushing his servo away, "You are going to have a throne for me to sit in. And it will put us at as equal heights as you can make it."

He smiles at her, "As you wish, Sari. I would be honored to have you with me as an equal."

She blinks tiredly, "I need to call my dad and tell him I'm spending the night. And you are taking me to your room now."

The Decepticons in the hall fall silent, and she realizes she just basically told Megatron she was going to bang him where all of his bots could overhear her talking. She fights back the blush that wants to come to her cheeks.

Megatron smiles and stands, "The High Priestess and I will be retiring to our quarters now. Please do not interrupt us for the remainder of the sol." His optics burn with lust as he looks down at Sari. "Or perhaps the rest of the decacycle."

She leans against him, still horribly tired, but her tank grumbles about being empty.

Stomach. She meant ... stomach? Maybe she _did_ mean tank. The idea of glowing pink goo going in her tummy still makes her feel kinda woogie, so tank will work.

Megatron carries her out of the throne room, optics dim as he rubs her plates, "I have a very high quality energon in my quarters for you, Sari. I'm sure that will quiet your hunger pangs. If you want, I even have various pieces of crystals you can try."

She frowns, "Crystals are _rocks_, and I'm not really sure if I can ea-" The Allspark whispers about how they will taste wonderful to her, but they need to be ground to dust so she doesn't break a tooth.

She informs Megatron of this, and he nods, "If that's what you need, I have no problem doing that for you."

If she were in bot mode, she could eat them without a problem, but she really doesn't feel like armoring up just yet.

She'll put it on later, when she's ready to claim Megaton. His finger rubs over her blue sparkpaint; the one bit of blue on her that remains even when she's in human form. It's standard marking for a Priestess, but when the bots had first seen it, they'd been hella embarrassed. Apparently, if you weren't a Priestess and had little accents of spark-blue like she did, it was sort of assumed you were selling your spark.

They make it to Megatron's room, and she's set carefully on the berth. She can _taste_ the electric current running though it, a metalic tang in her mouth as she plants her peds on the metal. She makes a face at it, but knows that will go away when she's transformed. Megatron, however, seems to know exactly what's going on, and turns a switch on the side of the berth, making the electric hum leave. His optics are dim and he runs a finger along her frame, "Is that better, Priestess?"

She closes her eyes, leaning against him, "Yeah. A lot."

"I would have thought you would enjoy the current, as you are techno-organic." Megatron's terribly naughty fingers slide up under her skirt again, much gentler on her organic skin than they had been on her armor plating. "I had also thought I would be disgusted by this, but I find you very pleasant to touch. You are very . . . soft this way."

Sari pushes his servo away. "Yeah. Little squishy organic. Trust me, I know. Bumblebee likes to cuddle with us because of it."

He moves his fingers to rub at her stomach for a moment, "Would you like me to get you the energon?" He presses just a tiny bit harder, fingers moving around her body, "If you don't want it, I will happily get you more candy."

She archs up as he rubs her breast, blushing faintly, "Yeah." She gently pushes his servo away, "I need to call my dad." She reaches into her subspace, pulling out her cellphone, and Megatron leans down to look at it.

"I do have a com console you can use. That way he can see you're unharmed." His fingers are back, rubbing at her again, "And happy, as well."

She pushes his servos away again, blushing brightly, "Yeah, no. If I do that, you can _not_ be groping me as it happens. All that will do is make him think you're molesting me against my will and I'm just pretending to go along with it."

A large servo rests on her shoulder, fingers curling around her side. "Is platonic touching allowable?" He bends down to kiss the top of her head, between her pigtails. "I would hate to seem cold and distant."

There was no way a bot as hot and huge as he was could _ever_ seem that way, not when she knew what kind of a spark he had under his plates. "Yeah. You can touch me like this if you want. Just try not to look threatening, okay?"

He slides into the berth, laying down next to her as she stands, "Is this better, Sari?"

He looks like a gigantic wall of metal behind her, but that's better than it could have been. At least she isn't sitting in his lap like some kind of pet. "Yeah, I guess." She looks at the console, not really sure how to get to it.

Megatron solves that for her by beaming over the frequency to the console, and it starts to ring. He gently pets her hair, looking at her with dim optics, "Is that what you needed?"

She's not gonna ask how he has her dad's private phone number, but she's not gonna complain about it either. "Yeah. Thanks." She waits for her father to pick up. It can take him a long time if he's distracted by something or in the middle of an experiment. This time it takes just about three awkward minutes for him to pick up the call, and he's looking rather befuddled when he answers.

His spiky hair is all frizzy and his eyes are sleepier than usual, so he must have been napping on his desk again. "How did you get this-" his eyes widen, "Sari? What are you . . . is that _Megatron_ behind you?"

She nods, "Yeah, it is, Dad."

He fumbles around his desk, "Don't worry, Sari! I'll... I'll get the-"

She raises her arms frantically waving them to calm him down, "No! Dad! I'm fine! Really, I am."

His eyes dart to Megatron, "Sari, that's _Megatron_. He's dangerous. Are... are the..." he stumbles over what he was saying, looking confused.

She rubs her eyes, "The code words were 'are the robots revolting?' And no, I really _am_ fine. Promise."

"But, but," his hands clench and unclench, "that's . . that's _Megatron_! Leader of the Decepticons! The bot who kept me in a _cage_!"

Sari flinches, "Yeah. And I bet he's really sorry about that. Aren't you, Megatron?"

The large bot nods slowly, "I sincerely regret the actions I took, Isaac. I have since come to realize that humans deserve better treatment. I was desperate at the time, and did what I believed to be best for my species. I do hope you will forgive me some sol."

Her dad is going to be calling up the bots the very moment this call is up, and she's rather glad they have no damn clue where the base is. She sighs softly, "It doesn't have to be right now. Just... some day."

He looks like he's going to tell her that's never happening, but then nods in the most guarded fashion she's _ever_ seen him do. "Right, Sari." From his tone, she knows he's going to treat this like a kidnapping anyway, and nothing she says is going to change that. She kind of wishes she hadn't called him, but she _worries_ about him worrying about _her_. He moves slightly to the chair, sitting down carefully, "And what, exactly, is this call about?"

It occurs to her that Megatron is still touching her, and she leans into his comforting servo. "I wanted to let you know that, well, you know how I told you about me being a Priestess and needing consorts and all?" She smiles hopefully, and Isaac's expression grows absolutely horrified as he starts to understand her reason for calling.

"No, tell me you're not-"

"Yeah. So, I'm planning on bonding to Megatron." She forces her tone bright and cheerful. "Tonight."

He scrambles for a phone in his desk, eyes still firmly on her, "You're _eloping_?"

She rubs her temples, trying to stave off a headache, "Dad, eloping is when you don't tell anyone you're getting married. If that happened, I wouldn't have called you." She points to the left, "The cellphone is in the right drawer, and you haven't charged it in awhile. That's not gonna work."

He pulls out the phone, and his face falls when he realizes she's right. "But that's _Megatron_, Sari. You can't just marry him."

She looks at him flatly, "Dad, do you remember all those terrible, terrible dates you had when you were trying to find a mom for me?" He gives her a confused nod, unsure what this is about. "Well, _that_ is because the Allspark didn't want you _cheating_ on it. You are all marked up on your hair. It seems to think you're married to it. Bots kind of work like that."

"I'm . . what?" her father slumps back into his seat, stunned, and Megatron arches an optic ridge at the both of them.

"Your father is bonded to the Allspark? I would not have expected it to choose a human as a consort. I suppose it does make sense-it chose the brightest and best mind on the planet to create you, my Sari." His fingers stroke her thighs, and she pushes them subtly away before he can try fitting them up under her skirt again.

Sari is more concerned with her father, who is looking like he's about to go into shock. She leans forward cautiously, "Do you need time to think this through?" She smacks her head, "And frag you, Allspark. No. I'm not going to tell him that." At Megatron's confused look, she texts him, /_It wants to tell him that it is trying to work a way out to touch him since he IS marked it would be possible. In the dirtiest context possible./_

Megatron's confused look doesn't leave, then it dawns on him she _is_ talking about her creators and he makes a face as well. He wouldn't want to think about it if it was _his_ creators, much less being an intermediary to give the information.

If the Allspark wants to make some siblings for her, it'll have to do it without her help. "Anyways, I wanted to let you know that I'm marrying Megatron tonight. So . . . I guess we'll probably come see you tomorrow, unless you want some time alone to think about it. I love you, daddy," she blows a kiss at the screen and turns it off. "Well . . that went about as well as I thought it would." Frowning, she turns to curl up against Megatron's chest. "I don't think we're gonna be welcome at family reunions for a while."

Megatron blinks at her for a moment, then runs his fingers along her frame, "I wasn't welcome in the first place, Sari. I understand if your father does not allow me anywhere near him."

He plays with her skirt, and she sighs, "Well, he can _try_ to get along with you later on. If not, he's going to be dealing with Ramjet and Starscream."

Her skirt is moved just a little higher up her thighs, "So you _are_ taking them as consorts after me? I was hoping for Sunstorm instead of the other clones."

"He's with Bee," she armors up to stop him from putting his fingers in sensitive places just yet. "I'm not gonna take Bee as a consort too. He'd be awful at it, and he's too much like a brother to me."

Megatron sighs when his fingers come in contact with smooth metal armor over her crotch. "I suppose Ramjet isn't too terrible an option." He slides his fingers out from under her skirt to focus on her sparkplates instead. They pulse with heat under his fingertips. "Your sparkchamber is so very small. Will you let me see your spark?"

She pushes the servo away, "I will last through marking you then fall into _recharge_. Food first."

He makes a disappointed sound, but actually gets up and gets several cubes. One of which is absolutely tiny, almost ridiculously so. Picking it up, she can fit it in the palm of her servo, "Where did you even get this?"

He settles into the berth, returning to touch her frame, "Scalpel uses them, and he _is_ closer to your size. We can always refill it if you want more."

"Thanks." She carefully sips the energon he's poured into it, and she blinks in surprise. That's . . . actually _really_ good. Like, she actually _enjoys_ the flavor and texture. "What the fuck is in this?"

Megatron smiles, "Very rare ingredients, actually. I had suspected you would enjoy lacewing crystal. It is the primary ingredient in this energon blend."

She gulps more of it down. "Slag, this is _good_." It's . . . she can't really describe the flavor, because it's nothing like human food at all, but it makes her glossa tingle and her tank purr with satisfaction. "Delicious."

He kisses her head, "I'm glad you like it, Sari. You're welcome to have as much of it as you'd like." He watches her with dim optics as she drinks more of it, and his fingers tease her seams, "I would like to try 'facing you as a human. I am immensely curious how you look when you ... org-"

She puts a servo to his lips, "Yeah, no. We aren't doing that right now. I want to mark you and everything. And I _like_ overloading with another bot."

Megatron makes a very unhappy sound, tugging her against him, "I am not happy that Red Alert took advantage of you during a spark exam. Those are to be absolutely professional and she did _that_."

Her optics dim in memory, "It was amazing. Next time I have an exam with her is gonna be a bit awkward, though." Sari reaches up to smooth the upset lines away from his face, "You'll notice that I'm not bonding with _her_." She lets her servos glow brightly, building up a charge that makes them tingle, "I am going to be marking _you_, my First consort." Her voice has dropped an octave, and it's ringing with the energy she's drawing into her frame.

Now she had only one choice to make. Mark him first, and then 'face the slag out of him, or 'face him first and then mark him while he was recovering from overload? Marking him first means she's better able to concentrate the 'facing, but overloading him first means that she'll be able to do all sorts of fun things to his spark.

She rubs his plates with dim optics, "I am fully fueled, and we are on a berth. Why aren't you open yet?"

He unlocks automatically, turning so he's on his back, and moving her so she's on top of him. "Because I wanted to know what you wanted first."

She nibbles on the plates, pushing them open with her servos, "I want to overload with you first. Then we're going to mark you, and then who knows what things we do after that."

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><p>She's with a bot that she knows accepts her for her, and there is work to be done to end the war, but for now, she and him can just relax and be happy.<p>

That's enough for her.

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><p>Please Review<p>

Okay, guys, like I said, I yanked out porn from this, and it is the last chapter. I have another fic to post, and it is a Shockwave story :O

But, remember, to get to my lj and tumblr, it is on my profile. You look there to get it :V

_bluh, i need to edit more fics_


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